


Summertime Sadness

by rox2the_anne



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lifeguards, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Simon Snow, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I hope, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, POV Simon Snow, Suicide Attempt, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow in Love, Vampires, drunk! simon snow, suicidal baz pitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-13 16:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18034727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rox2the_anne/pseuds/rox2the_anne
Summary: Simon Snow is a lifeguard, Baz Pitch is a frequent beach goer with a dark secret. Can our boys find love is this crazy, messed up world?This one is a monster. You can follow me on tumblr (rox2theanne) or Twitter (@rox2the_anne) for updates!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've pretty much poured my heart and soul into this fic and I really hope you guys like it. It's super angsty and I even got pretty sad about it, but we'll make this work. Our guys are tough. And in love. They'll be alright. They're always alright.

Working with your ex-girlfriend probably sucks for anyone. Working with your ex-girlfriend who broke your heart sucks worse. Working with your ex-girlfriend and having to see her in a bathing suit, to remind just how perfect she is, sucks the most. Welcome to my life.  
About three weeks ago, my (then) girlfriend, Agatha, and I signed up to be lifeguards at the local beach together. This is our last summer before we both go to separate universities, so I thought it would be a good idea for us to spend as much time together as possible. I had my whole perfect summer planned out; a summer of swimming, playing volley ball, drinking drinks with little umbrellas in them, and watching Agatha sunbathe.  
Agatha is beautiful, and not in your everyday sort of way. She’s beautiful with or without makeup or whether or not she decides to curl her hair or leave it straight. Her skin is smooth and tan and it doesn’t freckle in the sun like mine does. She has long, silky blonde hair and the first time I saw her in her red lifeguard’s swimsuit, I think my heart stopped for at least ten seconds.  
It didn’t take long before reality set in. Being a lifeguard is not as fun as I thought it was going to be. Agatha and I barely see each other, and when I’m not lugging heavy wooden chairs to and from the kiosk, I’m either sitting in a chair six feet above everyone else (with no one to talk to) or walking up and down the beach looking for people smoking or drinking out of glass containers. Those conversations are always a treat.  
My summer went from dull to awful three days ago, when Agatha and I finally got to have a lunch break together. I thought it was a great opportunity to reconnect and find a bit of normalcy. Agatha thought it was the perfect opportunity to tell me that she thought we should see other people. She said that she never really intended to go to university still dating her high school boyfriend and that it wasn’t fair to lead me on anymore. That’s how she said it though. “My high school boyfriend” like she wasn’t talking _about_ me _to_ me. She said that we should both try to just have fun this summer. When I asked why she couldn’t have fun with me, she said there was too much pressure on her when I was around. She said that if she wanted to know what the rest of her life would be like, she’d stay with me, but she wanted something different. Something new. Ouch.  
I’ve just finished talking to the police after a particularly disgruntled (and pissed) beach goer cold cocked me with the glass bottle I was asking him to dispose of. I’m walking to the lifeguard stand to find a first aid kit to put something on my busted lip, when I see Agatha. She looks otherworldly. The sun has almost completely set, and everything has a blue tint to it right now. She’s wearing a long white swimsuit coverup, and it’s blowing around in the wind with her long, corn silk hair.  
Agatha turns to walk up the beach towards the parking lot, so I open my mouth to call out to her and wince. I press my hand to my mouth and when I take it away, my fingers are stained with blood. My cut has opened up again and it stings. I start running to catch up to her since yelling is not an option, but when I look back up at her, I freeze. She isn’t alone. There’s a dark figure beside her. She’s walking with a man I don’t recognize. He’s much taller than Agatha and his long, dark hair is blowing around his face, so I can’t really make it out, but either way, a chill goes up my spine. He says something to her and suddenly she’s throwing her arms around his middle. He doesn’t hug her back; he just stands there, stiff, until she lets go. For reasons, I can’t explain, I don’t approach Agatha until she and her companion have parted ways.  
“Agatha,” I call, jogging up to her car. She turns her face in my direction, and I see tears streaming down her checks. I quickly close the distance between us and place a hand on her shoulder, turning her towards me.  
“Aggie, what’s wrong?” I ask. “Who was that man? What did he say to you?” I start looking around for him. He couldn’t have gone far. I look down at Agatha and tell her to wait in her car, but she stops me.  
“He’s just a friend, Simon,” she tells me. “I’m fine.”  
“You don’t look fine,” I say, and she raises her eyebrows. “I mean, you’re obviously sad. What happened?”  
“Nothing that concerns you, Simon,” she says. She unlocks her door and climbs inside her car. I’m too hurt to say or do anything else. Agatha may get irritated or short with me once in a while, but she’s never been this cold. She starts closing her door, but I grab onto it.  
“Well, do you want to hang out tonight?” I ask. “Let me buy you dinner.” I sound pathetic, even to myself.  
Agatha looks up at me and her expression softens a bit, “Not tonight, Si. I’m tired. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” I nod and she gives me a weak smile then puts her key in the ignition. When she pulls on the door again, and I let it go. 

 

{+} 

The Randy Goat is by far the best pub in town. Not only do they have the best mixed drinks on the coast, they also have the best staff. The owner is one of my favorite people in the whole world. A few years ago, I ran away from home and she came upon me sleeping on the beach near here. She took me in; let me live upstairs in her spare room and bus tables on the weekends during lunch. This place is like a second home to me now that I live in an apartment a few blocks away with my best friend Penny.  
“Hey there, pretty mama,” I say in a deep voice, having a seat at the bar. Ebb snaps her blond head in my direction looking thoroughly offended then laughs when she sees that it’s me. She tucks a rogue strand of her jaw length hair behind her ear and puts her rag down.  
“The usual, Si- Oh shit! What happened to your face?” she asks taking a glass from underneath the counter and setting it in front of me. She places two rough fingers on my chin and tilts my face up so she can inspect it.  
“Make it a double,” I say, then I briefly tell her about the douche bag I got into an altercation with on the beach.  
“Something else is wrong,” she says, filling my glass with gin and orange juice. She adds a couple of cherries and grenadine then pushes it towards me. “Spill it,” she says. I look up at her in mock confusion.  
“The drink?” I ask with a wink, taking a sip and feeling the burn of the alcohol light up my insides. I think this is a bit more than a double.  
“What happened?” Ebb presses.  
“I think Agatha is seeing someone,” I say.  
“Doesn’t waste any time, does she?” Ebb says. “Hang on. Let me get this guy’s order.”  
I follow Ebb with my eyes and almost choke on my drink. The man at the end of the bar is the man I saw with Agatha. At least, I think he is. I watch intently as he orders his drink from Ebb. He doesn’t smile or anything. His pouty lips are moving, but I can’t tell what he’s saying. By the looks of him, he’s probably ordering something really posh and manly like straight bourbon or scotch. It’s got to be him. He’s got the same chin-length hair, and no one else would be wearing all black in the middle of summer like this guy. Is that what Agatha is into these days? Emo guys? I bet he’s in a band. I bet he writes his own songs and plays guitar. I roll my eyes and look from his skinny jeans back up at his face. He’s looking right back at me. He quirks an eyebrow up at me in question and I hastily turn away. My cheeks heat up and I chalk it up to the gin.  
An older man takes a seat a couple of stools down from me and we exchange pleasantries. He’s a regular. I see him all the time, but I can’t remember his name. Ebb and I both call him “Pissed Pete” because he gets sozzled every time he comes in, but I seriously doubt that’s his real name.  
“So, where were we?” Ebb says, walking back over to me. She puts her elbows on the counter and rests her chin in her hands.  
“Be cool, but the guy you just made a drink for is the guy Aggie is dating. Or at least I think he is. I saw them together after work tonight.”  
Ebb bolts upright and looks over at him in surprise.  
“I said be cool,” I hiss. I do my best to casually cover my face with my hand. This is good, right? Maybe he’ll think I’ve disappeared.  
“Sorry,” Ebb says grabbing a towel and wiping the counter with it. She looks over at him out of the corner of her eye.  
“Do you have to look?” I groan. “You were just over there.”  
“He’s good looking,” she says with a shrug.  
“Awesome,” I say. It’s not like I hadn’t noticed that the guy could probably be making bank modelling for someone like Gucci or Calvin Klein, but did she really need to say it out loud?  
“I’m sorry that you’re hurting, Simon,” Ebb says. “I know it’s fast, but you and Agatha did agree to see other people.”  
“She agreed” I whisper yell at her, and she gives me a withering look. “She agreed,” I say more calmly. I risk glancing at the mystery guy again. He drains his drink with a final gulp and motions to Ebb that he’s ready for his check.  
I sigh and look away drinking the rest of my own drink.  
I look at him again. He runs a hand through his hair then leans over to sign his receipt. He’s gorgeous. He’s gorgeous and he’s confident enough to come have a drink alone… and he made Agatha cry.  
I watch him walk out of the pub and I don’t look back at Ebb until the door closes. She has a strange expression on her face.  
“I don’t think Agatha is dating that guy,” she says.  
“What makes you say that?” I ask.  
“He just asked me for your name and paid for your drink,” she tells me with a smirk.  
My jaw literally drops, and I quickly snap it shut again. Ebb giggles at my reaction.  
“Th-that doesn’t mean _anything_ ,” I stammer. “That might just be some kind of power move.”  
“Yeah, right,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Did he even see you earlier?”  
“Uh, no, I don’t think he did,” I reply.  
“Well, there you go,” she says.  
I look at the door as if I can still see him. I think of the look he gave me when he caught me staring. If he was interested in me, why didn’t he come talk to me? Why did he ask for my name then leave? What did he say to Agatha to make her cry? I don’t know what this guy is up to, but I’m going to find out.  
“Do you know his name?” I ask.  
“I can find out,” Ebb says with a little smile. She walks over to the cash register and takes out his receipt. “Basilton Grimm-Pitch,” she reads to me.  
“That’s what’s wrong with this town,” Pissed Pete practically shouts making me jump in my skin. I forgot he was there.  
“Sorry?” I ask, turning to him.  
“All the goddamn vampires,” he says. He lifts his beer bottle up to his mouth then, realizing it’s empty, promptly orders another.  
“I think you’ve had enough, old timer,” Ebb tells him.  
“Okay, dear,” he slurs. “See you tomorrow.”  
Ebb and I exchange mystified expressions and I snigger until a hand claps down on my shoulder.  
“I’d stay away from that feller if I were you,” Pissed Pete tells me. I think he thinks he’s whispering. “He’ll drain you dry with a smile on his face.”  
I decide not to comment on his theory about Basilton, and instead, I offer to call him an uber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me comments! I’d love to hear your thoughts as you read! 💕


	2. Chapter 2

It turns out, I don’t have to wait long at all to get to the bottom of the Agatha/Basilton mystery. The following morning, as I’m clocking in, I can hear Agatha and her friend Trixie speaking in the breakroom. “So did finally talk to that guy you’ve been pining over all summer?” Trixie asks. My eyes go wide, and I sneak a little closer to the open door. I feel guilty for eaves dropping like this, but I’m only human.  
“Yes,” is all that Agatha says, and for a moment I think that’s all she’s going to say about it. She heaves out a dramatic sigh, and I hear the scraping of chairs being pulled out. “He said he’s not interested.”  
“Seriously? Did he say why?” Trixie asks. Thank God, she’s nosy.  
“Yeah, well, kind of. He said that it’d be in my best interest to stay away from him, and when I said that I didn’t want to, he said that he’s not interested in dating, and that I’m not his type anyway.”  
“Not his type? You’re everyone’s type. Look at you,” Trixie says the exact thing I was thinking.  
“Not his apparently,” Agatha sounds so sad. I wish I could comfort her. I can’t help but think that this could be a good thing though. (For me, at least.) Maybe she’ll see that life was better when she was my girlfriend…  
“Maybe he’s gay,” Trixie offers. Instantly I think of what happened at the bar last night. _Maybe he is_ , I think. Even better.  
I’ve listened to enough of this conversation, so I scribble my name on my time sheet and drop it in its slot. Today could actually turn out to be a good day. I already have something I didn’t have yesterday. Hope.  
{+}

The morning passes pretty uneventfully. I swam out to retrieve a little girl’s innertube that floated out too far for her to reach, and then I followed an old woman with two of our umbrellas for about 45 minutes while she decided on the perfect place for her and her friend to sit and do their knitting. I wanted to ask why she thought knitting on a beach was a good idea, but that’s none of my business, so I kept my mouth shut.  
When I get back to the lifeguard stand, I see him. Basilton Grimm-Pitch. He’s sitting in the sand about twenty feet away, looking out into the water. He’s wearing jeans again, the tosser, dark blue this time, and he’s got on another black t-shirt. His hair is blowing in his face again, and I have the sudden urge to push it back so that I can see him properly.  
My work buddy, Reith walks up the ramp next to me, and pauses. He follows my line of vision, then turns around, leaning his back against the railing.  
“That guy comes here every day,” he tells me.  
“Yeah?” I say. I don’t want to seem too interested.  
“Yeah. He never wears trunks or gets in the water. He just sits there and stares until the sun goes down. It’s creepy.”  
“I don’t know about creepy,” I say. “More like sad, innit?”  
Reith glances over his shoulder at Basilton, then looks back at me. No one can hear us over here, but he leans in closer anyway. “Rumor has it, he’s a vampire,” he whispers.  
“If he were a vampire, wouldn’t he be bursting into flame or something, right now?” I ask.  
“Nah, mate. Real vampires aren’t like movie vampires,” he says, like I’m the one being ridiculous.  
“Then what are they like?” I ask.  
“All I know is that my mum didn’t want me moving into this city because of the vampire problem,” he says. I roll my eyes, and he grabs my arm, giving me a little shake. “I’m serious. The media covers it up, but there have been a lot of murders around here in the past few years.” I make a face at this. There are murders in most big cities. “The victims are all drained of blood,” he adds dramatically. “You can Google it.”  
“Yeah, okay, mate,” I say. “I’ll watch my back.”  
Reith pats me on the back and makes his way to his stand. I look over at Basilton and I think he’s looking back at me. Before I can decide whether or not I should wave at him, he turns his head. I consider going over to say hello when a thought strikes me. If he comes here every day, did he recognize me at the bar?

{+}

“Sounds to me like Agatha isn’t the only one that’s been doing some pining this summer,” Penny says, giving me a cheeky grin. She pulls her bright red hair up into a messy bun then starts cutting into the lasagna she just took out of the over. She sets a plate in front of me, and I pour us both some pinot noir that she brought home. I love when it’s her turn to cook. I always end up making something like grilled cheese and tomato soup or corned beef hash. My father never taught me how to cook and Ebb is all about “convenience foods”. Penny’s mother gave her a binder full of her favorite recipes when she moved out. She wanted to make sure that Penny and I were eating properly.  
“What do you mean by that?” I ask, taking a sip of wine and wrinkling my nose at it. I pour mine out into her glass, and grab a beer out of the fridge.  
“It’s obvious, Si,” she says pushing her purple frames up the bridge of her nose, “You said that Basilton guy comes to the beach and just sits every day, then when he saw you at Ebb’s he paid for your drink and asked what your name is? _And_ he turned Agatha down, saying she wasn’t his type? He’s totally into you, and maybe even low key stalking you.”  
“No way,” I say, shaking my head, but Penny looks unmoved. “No _way_ ,” I repeat.  
“Why no way? You’re a catch. Is it so crazy to think that someone could want you?” She asks. She’s looking at me like she’s already won the argument.  
“You haven’t seen him,” I say. “A guy like that would never be into a guy like me, besides it doesn’t matter. I’m still hung up on Agatha.”  
Penny makes a small disgusted noise.  
“What? We dated for almost five years. It’s not like I can just get over it, like she did,” I explain.  
“No, not that. I just can’t believe you could possibly think that anyone is too good for you. That’s bullshit. Agatha is beautiful and wealthy, and she loved you for years. And about the Agatha thing… she didn’t get over it overnight. Usually people get over their significant others before they dump them. Dumpers just have time to emotionally prepare…”  
“Oh great. That makes me feel loads better,” I grumble. I take another sip of beer then tuck into my lasagna. “Besides,” I add, not wanting to lose the argument, ”Reith says Basilton is a vampire.”  
Penny practically chokes on her lasagna. She takes a sip of wine and coughs. “What?”  
I shrug. “Reith says he’s a vampire,” I say again. She doesn’t respond. She just stares at me with wide eyes. “Penny I’m joking. It’s obviously not true.”  
“Basilton,” Penny says, as if something is clicking for her. “Grimm-Pitch?”  
“Yeah,” I say, furrowing my brow. “How’d you know that?”  
“Hold on,” she says, jumping up and running to her bedroom. She returns, seconds later, with her laptop. “Ok, so I looked into the vampire issues in this area a couple of weeks before we moved in here. My brother told me that they are very active in this area, and I just wanted to see if I could find any truth to the rumors. Anyway, the first article that pops up when you type ‘vampires’ ‘southport’ and ‘attack’” she says as she types into the search engine, “is this one.” Penny turns the computer around so I can read it.  
“Natasha Grimm-Pitch dies in apparent vampire attack and fire,” I read. “Grimm-Pitch,” I repeat, looking up at Penny.  
“Basilton is mentioned,” Penny says.  
I continue reading the whole article, and sure enough. The attack was initially on the nursery at the boarding school Natasha was headmistress of, and Basilton was there. An eye witness says that he was ‘under attack’ when she and his mother entered, but it doesn’t specifically say that he was bitten.  
“This was nearly 15 years ago,” I say to Penny. “He would have had to be a toddler.” Penny nods.  
“This isn’t proof of anything,” I tell her.  
“I know that, but you never know,” she says. “The rumors aren’t without warrant, at least. Does he look like a vampire?”  
“Yes,” I say, honestly. “He’s got pale skin, long dark hair with a widow’s peak and everything.”  
“Handsome?” Penny asks.  
“Bloody beautiful,” I say, and we both smile.  
Penny starts giggling which quickly turns into laughter. When she snorts, I finally ask her what’s so funny.  
“A handsome teenage vampire has a crush on you. You’re Bella Swan,” she gasps out. 

{+}  
Neither Penny nor I have work the next morning, so we decide to go to the beach for some fun. It’s been a while since I’ve been here without having to constantly be on guard, and it is just what I needed. We find a few people to play a couple of rounds of volleyball with, then we sit in the shade of an umbrella to eat the lunch we packed. Penny says that she’s going to miss this when she moves to America to be with her boyfriend, Micah.  
“They have beaches in America,” I tell her.  
“Not in the Midwest,” she reminds me.  
Penny finishes her sandwich then lays back in her chair. “Don’t let me sleep too long, okay?” she says.  
“Yeah, okay,” I say, getting to my feet. “I’m going to find someone to play frisbee. I’ll be back in a bit.”  
Penny hums her acknowledgment, and I start walking towards a group of guys that seem to be around my age. I’m sure I’ll find some takers there. As I walk over to them, I take a quick scan of the crowd out of habit, and that’s when I see him; Basilton. He’s far away, and his back is to me, but I know it’s him. He’s walking towards the boulders in the distance, and before I give myself time to think, I’m following him.  
I watch him as he walks around the first boulder he comes to. It looks like he’s heading towards the water, so I start jogging to catch up to him. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him. I’m actually getting nervous the closer I get to him. Maybe this was a bad idea. What could I possibly say to him? I guess I could start with hello… I walk around the boulder expecting to be fairly close to him, but he’s not here. I look up on the rocks and he’s not there either. He vanished.  
I drag my eyes over the water, and I see the top of his head go under. He’s swimming? Wasn’t he wearing jeans? I wait for him to emerge for a few seconds with my heart in my throat. Where is he? What is he doing? Before my brain fully processes what’s happening, I rip my shirt off and sprint to the water.  
I dive down, again and again, until I finally see him. He’s not moving, and his pale arms are floating above his head. I swim down to him and grab him around this chest. I pull him to the surface and drag him onto the sand. A few people have gathered to watch, and I yell at them to call 911. A girl frantically pulls out her cell phone and the guy she is with runs towards the lifeguard stand.  
I lay Basilton down on his back and feel for a pulse. He’s still alive. I immediately press both my hands to his chest start the compressions, I pause, allowing his chest to recoil then I hold his nose closed and bring my mouth to his, trying to breathe the life back into him. Nothing. I repeat the cycle again and again. I’m vaguely aware of the crowd that has gathered around us. I hear an ambulance in the distance, then I hear Reith yelling at me to stop doing mouth to mouth. I’m finished with my fourth round of compressions, so I bring my mouth back to Basilton’s. Just as I feel his mouth move a bit beneath mine, I’m knocked back onto my arse.  
I look up in bewilderment at Reith.  
“What the fu-“ I begin, but Basilton starts coughing and vomiting up water beside me, so I scramble to kneel in front of him. He gasps for air and there they are. Fangs. Huge fangs, perfect for sinking into flesh. I fling myself over him to shield him from the onlookers and help him to a sitting position. I’m smiling at him so big, my cheeks hurt, but I can’t stop. I know I should be terrified of him, but I’m just so damn relieved that he’s alive.  
“You’re alright,” I say, putting an arm around him as a woman from the crowd wraps a towel around his shoulders. “You’re going to be just fine.”  
“You,” he rasps, fixing me with a wounded look. “How could you?”  
I don’t understand. What did I do wrong? Did he want to drown? Understanding dawns on me, and I let myself be pulled back as the paramedics finally reach us and begin tending to Basilton.  
“You shouldn’t have done that, mate,” Reith says. I look down at my arm and see that he’s still got his hand on my bicep, like he’s not going to let me wonder off on my own.  
“What? Save him?” I ask. Reith shakes his head impatiently.  
“The mouth to mouth,” he whispers. “You know what he is.”  
“He was in trouble, and he needed my help,” I tell him, wrenching my arm from his grip. He’s a lifeguard for Christ’s sake. How can he be saying this? “Besides, vampirism isn’t transmitted through saliva.” I looked it up.  
I watch from a distance as Basilton is loaded into the ambulance. The hurt expression on his face flashes in my mind.  
I hope he’s okay. 

{+}


	3. Chapter 3

“Geez, who died?” Ebb asks as Penny and I sit down at the bar. We both look up at her with meaningful looks and her face drops. “Oh, God. Did someone die?” she asks placing a hand over her heart.   
“No one died,” Penny says. “But Simon did save a man from drowning today. It was really scary. I didn’t think he was going to make it, but Simon didn’t give up on him.”  
“Oh, Simon, that’s amazing,” Ebb says. “You’re a hero. I’m making you a celebratory drink.”  
“Uh, ok,” I say to her. I don’t really feel much like celebrating.   
“Wait. Why the long face? You should be happy,” Ebb says looking from me to Penny. “What am I missing?”  
“Remember that guy that was here last night? The one that paid for my drink?” I ask.   
“Yeah,” she says, leaning over and placing her chin on her fist.   
“Well, it was him,” I say. “And I had the feeling that he, uh… he was trying to uh…” I rub the back of my neck nervously. I’m not quite sure how to say it.   
“He was trying to commit suicide,” Penny supplies for me.   
Ebb stands up straight and gasps. “Oh, the poor thing,” she says.   
Penny and I sit in awkward silence as Ebb makes us drinks. She tells us they’re on the house (all night) and goes to the table behind us to take some orders. What a fucking day. Basilton should be out of the hospital by now. I wonder if I should try to find him; to make sure he’s all right. I wouldn’t know where to start though. Penny would. I look over at her and she looks back at me with a feeble smile.   
“Should I Google him or something?” I ask her.   
“I already did,” Penny says. “He lives in Hampshire.” She hands me her phone, and I’m looking at an article about Pitch Manor. Apparently, it’s going to be in the upcoming Parade of Homes. There’s a picture of the house with a beautiful family standing outside of it. Literally every single member of this family is ridiculously good looking. Basilton is standing behind three children with a couple that I’m assuming are his father and stepmum.   
“Should I try to call them? To let them know what happened?” I ask. Penny’s eyes go wide at my question. “Not the suicide thing,” I clarify. “Just that he almost drowned and was taken to the hospital.”   
“I don’t know, Si,” Penny says. “I don’t think it’s really your place. I mean, you don’t even know this guy.”  
“I know,” I say covering my face with my hands and leaning on the bar. “I just feel sort of responsible now, you know?”  
“How the hell are _you_ responsible for his mental illness?” Penny asks.   
I can feel her eyes on me, but I don’t look up at her. She has a point. He isn’t my responsibility, and what he does is none of my business. All I know about this guy is that Agatha has a thing for him, he buys random guys drinks in bars without speaking to them, and he has serious issues. I should just try to forget about him, really. I saved a life and I should feel good about that. But he wanted to die… and I know it. What if I’m the only one who knows just how depressed he really is? That does make it my responsibility, right? He could try it again. I have to talk to him.   
I stand up abruptly and turn to Penny. “I have to go,” I tell her.   
“What? Where are you going?” she asks.   
“I have to talk to Basilton. I feel like… I just have to talk to him,” I say. I don’t really feel like explaining myself right now.   
“Simon,” Penny starts, but I interrupt.  
“Don’t try to talk me out of it,” I tell her.   
“No, Simon, I just-“ she says, but again, I interrupt.  
“I know I don’t know where he is, but I have to at least try to find him.”  
“That won’t be hard,” Penny says pointedly, nodding her head, gesturing behind me. I slowly turn around, and my heart drops into my stomach.   
Basilton is standing by the front door watching me. He holds my gaze for a few seconds then walks out. I turn around to look at Penny.   
“Well?” she says. “Go, _go_.”  
I take a large gulp of my drink then take a deep breath.   
“What am I doing?” I mumble, more to myself than to Penny, and I follow Basilton outside.   
He isn’t by the door like I expected. Instead, I see his back descending down the dock that connects the parking lot to the beach. As I walk down, I find myself wondering if he even wanted me to follow him. I pause in the middle of the dock, looking down at my feet, unsure if I should continue. When I look back up at Basilton, he’s standing on the beach looking at me. He looks like he’s waiting for me. I take this as my cue to get the hell over myself and see what it is he has to say.   
When I finally reach him, he turns and walks to the water. I awkwardly walk beside him, and we stop right before the waves can reach our shoes.   
“Are you sure you want to be here?” I ask him. He whips his head in my direction and sneers at me. It suddenly hits me that, if he is indeed a vampire, walking out to the empty beach alone with him after sunset was a really, really dumb idea. “I mean, uh, hi?” I say.   
He doesn’t answer. He just looks out to the water. I sigh and do the same. After a few moments, I can’t take the tension anymore.   
“How are you feel-“ I begin, but he holds up a hand to silence me. “Okay,” I mumble. “Silence is golden.”  
“I’m afraid I find myself torn, Simon,” Basilton says. I turn my face towards him and furrow my brow. He’s not looking at me, so he doesn’t see my confusion.   
“Torn?” I ask.   
“Yes,” he says. “The whole time I was in the ambulance and in the hospital, I went from hurt to resentful to furious. I was so pissed at you for what you did, I decided that I had to find you,” now he turns to me. I can see the moonlight reflecting in his gray eyes. “I wanted to read you the riot act, you see.” I give him an embarrassed smile. I don’t know why he was angry at me, but he doesn’t seem angry anymore. “On the way to the pub, I thought it over, and you couldn’t have known,” he rakes a hand through his hair and sighs. “You were just doing your job.”  
“So, if you aren’t angry anymore, why are you torn?” I ask.   
“Well, you know my secret, Simon,” he says, as if it should be obvious what he’s thinking. “Two of my secrets, I should say.”  
“Yes,” I say, swallowing a hard lump rising in my throat. “I saw your fangs.” Might as well get it all out in the open.   
“Your lip,” he says. “It was bleeding when you, uh… were performing mouth to mouth.”  
I reach up and press a finger to the scab on my bottom lip. I hadn’t even thought of that. No wonder Reith was so upset. So, it’s true.   
“Oh God,” I breathe. “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?”   
“Huh,” he says looking at me again. “I hadn’t thought of that.”   
I swallow, and Basilton follows the movement with his eyes. He’s staring at my throat. He’s going to rip my throat out with his teeth, and I’m the one who put the idea in his head. My eyes flick to his lips, and a small, extremely undignified noise escapes from my mouth. My eyes go wide, and he laughs mirthlessly.   
He puts his hands in his pockets and sighs. “Relax, Simon, I didn’t lure you out here to murder you,” he says. “I’m torn because I can’t think of an appropriate way to bribe you into silence. I’m thinking money, yes?”   
“M-money?” I ask. “For my silence? I’m not sure I understand.” He raises his eyebrows at me in a way that says I that I _do_ understand. “Basilton, I’m not going to tell anyone anything.”  
“How do you know my name?” he asks, turning to me fully.   
“Uh,” I look out towards the water again. I don’t know why I’m embarrassed to tell him that I asked Ebb his name. He did the same thing. “My friend told me.”  
“Ah,” he says, “the other lifeguard.”  
“Oh, no, not…Agatha,” I say. Thinking of her and her infatuation with this man stirs up something molten in my stomach. “Ebb, from the bar.”  
“Well, it’s just Baz,” he says so quietly I almost don’t hear.  
“Baz,” I say, testing it out. “It’s nice to meet you. Officially.” I offer him my hand and he takes it, shaking it once. His hand is cool and dry, and rougher than I thought it would be. I tear my eyes away from his, as the realization that I had expectations for what his hands would feel like in mine hits me like a brick. When I look back at him, he’s wearing the same hurt expression earlier today.   
“Well, if you aren’t planning on ratting me out to anyone, then I guess my business with you is complete,” he says, turning towards the pub. “Nice talking with you.”  
“Wait,” I say, and before I can stop myself, I grab onto his wrist to stop him. I can feel his pulse beating underneath my fingers. “I, uh, had something I wanted to say too.”  
He turns around and looks at me, puzzled, then down at my hand that is still latched onto him. I quickly let go and take a step back. The wind blows around us, and he pushes his hair out of his face impatiently, intent on looking at me.   
“Yes?” he prompts.   
“Uh, well, I,” I begin. What _did_ I want to say? “I wanted to tell you that, if you ever want to talk to anyone… about anything, you know like, things you can’t discuss with others… that uh, I could be that person… for you?” I’m not sure why that came out like a question. I’m so nervous, I’m not sure that he could even understand what I was trying to say. Do I? I roll my eyes at my own awkwardness and fist my hand in my curls.   
“You want me to talk to you?” Baz asks, simplifying my rambling. I nod, unwilling to subject him to anymore of my stuttering. I shift from foot to foot and look at him, waiting for an answer.   
“That’s nice of you,” Baz says carefully, “but I don’t think that’s a good idea. You should just stay away from me.” My chest tightens painfully at his words and I forget how to breath as, he, again, turns away from me, intent on leaving. I grab his arm once more, and he yanks out of my grip, whirling on me.   
“I can’t just let you leave,” I say more determined than before.   
“Excuse me?” he says indignantly. I’m treading on dangerous ground here, and I know it, but I can’t stop.   
“Knowing what I know,” I clarify. “I can’t just let you go. It wouldn’t be right.”  
“I’m not going to hurt anyone if that’s what you’re saying,” he tells me. I shake my head. He’s misunderstanding me. “You do realize that you don’t know me, right?” he asks with disdain. He takes a couple of steps towards me; so close I can feel his breath on my cheek. “You know what I am.”   
“Yes, but” I stutter, and he grabs my shirt.   
“Then stay away,” he grinds out. He shoves me back, not hard, but enough that I get the point. My right foot splashes in the water and I swear under my breath. I look up to speak to Baz again, but he’s already at least three yards away from me. I can’t grab onto him this time; I do call out to him though.  
“How do I know you won’t try it again?” I ask.  
Baz pauses as understanding dawns on him and he slowly turns around to face me. He gives me a sort of sad smile and says, “You don’t, hero.”  
He turns around and starts walking away like that’s that, but I’m not giving up. I take off running towards him. He hears me approaching and quickly turns on me.   
“What do you _want_ , Simon?” He keeps saying my name, and my heart thuds inside me chest each time. I expected him to look angry, but he just looks tired. So tired. And sad.   
“Promise me,” I say.  
Baz looks over my shoulder, refusing to meet my eye.  
“What?” he spits.  
“Promise me you aren’t going to try to kill yourself again.”  
“What’s the promise of a stranger? What the hell does it matter to you anyway?” he roars. “Where do you get off asking something like that of me? Do you have any idea how long it took me to work up the nerve to finally- How long it’s going to take to…” He doesn’t finish. He just shakes his head.  
“Look,” I say, moving my head over a bit, so that he’s looking me in the eye, “I get it, okay? I’m no one to you. My friend, Penny, told me to stay out of it, and you obviously want me to stay out of it as well, but who says it isn’t my place to do something? I’m making it my place, alright? I was in the right place at the right time today, and that’s got to count for something. It was meant to be.”  
Baz rolls his eyes at this. “You don’t even know me,” he says.   
“Everyone keeps _saying_ that…So, let me get to know you,” I counter. There are tears prickling my eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment, but I don’t wipe at them. I stay completely still. I feel like Baz is considering my offer, and I don’t want to spook him.   
Baz looks at me for a moment as if he’s looking for something in my eyes. I hope he finds what he needs. Finally, he sighs and shakes his head, defeated.  
“Goodbye, Simon,” he says.   
I can’t think of anything else to say, so I watch him go. I stand there long after I can’t see him anymore. I feel like I’ve failed. I’ve failed him. I saved him today, but who’s going to save him the next time?   
After a while, Penny finally comes to collect me, saying that we should go home. Apparently, she and Ebb watched our whole conversation from the pub’s back patio. Lovely.   
{+}

An entire week has passed since the day I saved Baz from drowning. I don’t see him at the beach or in the pub. Most likely, he’s just trying to avoid me. I’ll probably never see him again. Part of me is worried about him. I wonder if he found another way to achieve his goal. I don’t think about it. I don’t think about any of it.   
I’m sitting in the breakroom eating an egg and cheese biscuit before I have to head out to the beach. I’m supposed to be off today, but Reith asked me to cover for him so that he could go to some concert with his roommate. I really, really don’t want a day off to sit around and concentrate on not thinking, so I volunteered to take his shift. Anything to keep me busy.   
Agatha walks into the breakroom and stops. She looks at me with wide eyes, and I almost roll mine. I don’t want to deal with her petty drama today.   
“Good morning, Agatha,” I say in a bored tone.   
“Good morning, Simon,” she chirps.   
She sits down at the table with me and tosses her hair over her shoulder. I’m hit with a whiff of her shampoo. It smells nice and familiar. It should be comforting to me right now, but it just reminds me of what I don’t have anymore. I wish I could talk to her about what’s happening with Baz. Somehow, the person I felt closest to for years has become the last person on earth I can speak to about this. I stand up without a word, and walk out, tossing my breakfast in the bin as I pass.   
I make my rounds through the wooden chairs, writing names on the reserved ones with chalk. Then I go to my lifeguard chair and sit down. I loop my whistle around my neck and just stare out at the water. There’s hardly anyone here yet, so I don’t have many people to watch over. I was hoping that I would be busy today, but I’ve run out of things to do. I scan the crowd, again and again, and when I see a man with dark hair, my breath catches in my throat. He turns around and I see that it isn’t Baz. I curse myself for being so pitiful.   
The rest of my day goes like that. Bored out of my mind, alone, seeing him, but not really seeing him. When I finally reach the end of my shift, I text Penny to meet me at Ebb’s. I need a drink. A strong one.   
{+}

Penny is standing outside of The Randy Goat when I arrive. Apparently, she was in a nearby shop when she got my message. She looks at me with a concerned expression. That’s all I get out of her since my shitty conversation with Baz. We haven’t talked about him since that night, and I’m thankful for that, but it’s written all over her face that she wants to weigh in. I ignore the pity and open the door for her.   
“Shall we?” I say, gesturing for her to go ahead. She thanks me and makes her way to our regular spot at the bar.   
“Hey, guys,” Ebb says, smiling broadly and walking over to us. She gives me a hug, and gently pinches Penny’s cheek. “I was just thinking about you.”  
“Oh yeah?” I ask, sitting at my favorite stool (it’s right in front of the tv), “Why’s that?”  
“I saw your friend today,” she says. I feel my face fall, and I grab onto arm, stopping her from pouring my drink.   
“My friend? What friend?” I ask.   
“Basilton,” she says, looking at me like I’ve gone crazy.   
“You saw him? Here? Today?” I’m so relieved to hear he’s okay that I can barely catch my breath. “How did he look?”  
“He looked fine, Simon,” she says in a soothing tone. “A little disappointed maybe, but fine nonetheless.”  
“Why was he disappointed?” I press.   
“I think he was hoping to run into you,” she says, “kept looking around, all lost. I told him to come back later. Since when do you work on Fridays?”  
“I covered for Reith,” I tell her. I take a hand and rub it roughly across my face and leave it there. I don’t know what to think. I’ve been purposefully not thinking about Baz, and he was maybe looking for me? Well, he obviously knows my schedule, so I guess I’ll just stick to it, and see what happens. It’s not like I can look for him. Unless I want to drive all the way to Hampshire. I have no idea where else he would be besides the beach and here.   
“Simon, why do you get all bent out of shape over this guy?” Penny asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.   
“I’m not bent,” I snap. “I’ve already told you. I just wanted to help him.”  
“And you did,” Penny says. She sounds impatient. “You saved his life, for Pete’s sake. What more do you want?”  
“He did it on purpose, Pen,” I remind her.   
“Yes, I know, Si, but aside from calling his father, I don’t see what you can do about it. You don’t know him.”  
“So I’ve been told,” I say, moving my hand away from my face. “And because I don’t know him, he shouldn’t matter, right? That’s fucked up.”  
“Ok, so what do you want?” Penny asks.   
“I don’t know. I just want to talk to him,” I say.   
“Because that went so well last time?” she asks.   
Maybe she’s right. Maybe I should leave it. I sigh, and motion for Ebb to make me another drink. I pick up the one in front of me and down it in one gulp.   
“Simon, I love you,” Penny says. “I love that you care about people and that you genuinely want to help everyone, but you can’t save everyone all the time. Baz isn’t your mother. Helping him isn’t-“  
“What?” I demand. I feel like she just punched me in the gut. I stare at her with my mouth open, and she has the decency to look embarrassed.   
“Well, I just meant that…” she looks at Ebb for back up, but Ebb just throws her hands up, signaling that she’s got nothing to say. I appreciate that. “Helping people won’t bring her back and you need to start taking care of yourself,” Penny finishes.   
“If that’s what you think then you should just leave,” I tell her.   
Penny stands up, and places her debit card on the bar, sliding it towards Ebb. “I’ll come back for this tomorrow,” she tells her. She looks at me with big sad eyes and says, “I’ll see you at home.”  
I don’t say anything. I’m too angry. How could she say something like that to me? I know that my mother isn’t coming back; I’m not a child for fuck’s sake. Penny is smart, she’s always been smart, but sometimes she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about. Did my mother have depression? Yes. Does that make me sympathetic to people with depression? Of course. Did my mother kill herself? Again, yes. Does that make me think I can help someone who is suicidal? Quite the opposite…But it makes me want to try.  
My mother was always depressed. I never knew her, but that’s what everyone who did know her says. I can’t imagine anyone living with my father and not feeling depressed, but it was deeper for her; a lifelong battle. My father said that when she discovered she was pregnant with me, it was the happiest he’d ever known her to be. Shortly after she had me though, she got what’s called Post Partum Depression, and she slit her wrists in our bathtub. I shouldn’t know that. My father never told me that. I know he asked everyone else to keep their mouths shut about it, but when I was thirteen, I couldn’t stand not knowing anymore, so I did some research. The internet can tell you all sorts of things about a person.   
“Simon, you don’t look so good,” Ebb says. “Why don’t you go make up with Penny?”  
I shake my head and point to my second empty glass. “Uno mas, por favor,” I say.   
“What is it with you and Spanish when you’re tipsy?” Ebb asks, quickly pouring my drink and setting it in front of me. “Last one,” she adds.   
I shrug and start eating the ice out of my glass. When she hands me my new drink, I turn my attention to the tv above me and try to tune out the rest of the world. I love Cutthroat Kitchen. Cutthroat…  
“Hey, Ebb?” I call. She walks over and smiles at me. “Do you know anything about vampires in this area?”   
“Why would you ask me that?” she asks. Her face has completely drained of color.  
“No reason, really,” I lie, “I just heard a rumor is all.”  
“Well, it isn’t true,” she says, “I don’t have anything to do with them.”  
“No, no,” I quickly exclaim, “the rumor wasn’t about you. It was just vampires here, in our city… killing people… turning them.” I look up at her and she’s just shaking her head.   
“Can’t help you there, Simon,” she says curtly. She wipes at her eyes with her sleeves and takes off towards the kitchen.   
Well, that was odd.  
Ebb comes back a few minutes later and places a very large, brightly colored drink with a slice of pineapple and an umbrella on the rim in front of me.   
“I thought you cut me off,” I tell her with a smirk.   
“It’s from her,” she says, tilting her head to the left. I sit up straight then look around until I’m eye to eye with a redhead at the end of the bar. She’s sitting in the same seat Baz sat in when he paid for my drink. I grimace at the memory. I should have gone after him then. I should have talked to him. Maybe he wouldn’t have… done what he did. Wait. Why did he want to know my name if he was planning on doing that?  
“Simon Snow, stop looking at that girl like that, this instant,” Ebb says, back handing my arm.   
“Oh shit,” I say, snapping back to the moment, shaking my head and rubbing my arm. “Uh, so sorry,” I call to the girl. I walk over to her with the stupid drink and place it in front of her. “No thanks, dear. I have issues,” I say. I grab my jacket, wave at Ebb, and tell her that I’m going outside for some air.   
{+}

I’m standing on the dock, looking out at the water. The moon is full tonight, and the reflection on the water is making the night twice as bright as it usually is. I lean over the rail and look down at the sand. If I squint, I can make out the swift movements of tiny crabs scuttling around beneath me.   
“That wasn’t very nice,” Baz’s voice says behind me.   
“Well, maybe I’m not very nice,” I respond without turning around, or even looking up.  
“I don’t buy that,” he says. “You could have just told her you have a girlfriend.” He walks up next to me and places a hand on the rail.   
“Do I?” I ask. “That’s news to me.”  
“The Indian girl?” Baz says, as if he’s reminding me of her. “Penny, is it?”  
“You’re a shit stalker, you know that?” I say, looking over at him. He has his hair tied back into a tiny bun at the nape of his neck, and he’s wearing a dark blue jumper. His skin is practically glowing in the moonlight. He looks radiant. It takes my breath away. He takes in the look on my face, whatever it may be, and a small smile pulls at the corner of his mouth.   
“Stalker?” he asks.   
“Mmhmm. Following me around, listening to conversations,” I say. There’s a dangerous glint in his eye, but I don’t back down. “You know my schedule,” I add.   
Baz nods, but doesn’t say anything else.   
“But you don’t know as much as you think you know,” I tell him. I don’t know why, but this seems important. “Penny isn’t my girlfriend.”  
“She was just here,” he says, as if he’s going to prove me wrong. I shrug, and he looks irritated. “I’ve seen you go home with her. She was with you at the beach…that day.”  
I shake my head and smile lazily. “We live together,” I say.   
Baz nods again, this time with a dark expression on his face. He looks almost smug, and hurt?   
I shake my head again. “No, I mean we’re roommates, you git.” Baz’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline, and I snigger at his reaction. Probably no one has ever talked to him that way. “It’s completely unromantic. She’s my best friend. Fuck, she’s my only friend.”   
“I see,” Baz says. A man of few words. I hate it. I wish I could read his mind, but I think I know what’s going on here.   
“I wasn’t lying to you,” I say. I lean against the rail for support. The alcohol is beginning to really take a toll on me now. “I’m not going to tell anyone… about you. I think you should though.” Baz looks at me like I’ve lost it. “Not the…” I make a vague “fang” motion at my mouth, “but the other thing. You should talk to someone. A friend, or your parents?”  
“I didn’t think you were lying,” Baz says.   
“Why else would you be following me?” I sway a bit on my feet, and Baz reaches out to steady me. His hand is so cold to my burning skin, even through my jacket.  
“Does it bother you?” he asks me. I look at him, confused. “That I follow you. Does it bother you?”  
Oh.   
“Well, that depends,” I say. “Are you following me because you’ve had a taste of my blood and now you want more?”  
Baz looks shocked, then deadpans. “Only partially,” he says. When he smirks at me, I laugh out loud. I laugh harder than I have in weeks. When I look at Baz, he’s smiling. A real smile.   
“You should smile more,” I tell him. His face immediately falls, and I roll my eyes.   
“Everyone says that,” he says. I shrug and look at him.   
“Everyone’s right,” I tell him. “Although, you do have that brooding and mysterious thing working for you, so,” I shrug again.   
“Oh, it’s working is it?” he asks with a smug little grin. I rub the back of my neck, and look away, but only for a second. Is he playing with me?  
“Yeah, well, you sure got Agatha’s attention,” I say. He makes a face. “And you got mine.” He makes another face.   
“Well, I was drowning,” he says. I shake my head. “No?” he asks.   
“Why do you think I was so close that day?” I ask, as if it should be obvious. Oh shit. I’m admitting things to him, that I haven’t even admitted to myself yet.   
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought,” he tells me, licking his lips and darting his eyes to the side. He looks nervous all of a sudden; caught off guard. He looks like he’s ready to run away from me. I reach out, wrapping my hand just below his elbow, letting my hand slide down. I’m drunk enough to acknowledge that I may have a fascination with his wrists.   
“Baz?” I say. He’s staring at my hand on his arm.   
“Hmm?”   
“Can I ask you something?”   
Baz looks up and his expression turns stony. He probably thinks I want to ask him why, but I don’t.   
“Why did you ask Ebb for my name? If you weren’t ever planning on knowing me, I mean,” I bite my lip, and give his wrist a small squeeze. “Then why?”  
“I shouldn’t be here,” he says. On instinct, I grip his wrist tightly in my hand. I’m not letting go this time. Baz’s eyes go wide, and I pull him closer to me. His scent is in my lungs, and I swear I’ve never smelled anything sweeter. It’s intoxicating. No. I’m intoxicated, but this is something else. “Simon, let me go,” Baz says. _I love the sound of my name on your lips_ , I think. Or maybe I say it out loud, because he stiffens and tries to pull away again. “You don’t even know me,” he says. “And you’re drunk.”  
“So? You don’t know me either. How long have you been watching me? Just this week? I don’t think so,” I say, and instantly regret it. I pull my free hand through my hair and change tactics. “I want to, Baz. I want to know you. Please?”  
For just a moment, I think about kissing him. I think about hooking a hand behind his neck and crushing his lips to mine. I don’t though. It wouldn’t be appropriate. He’s right, I _am_ drunk. I don’t want to kiss him when I’m drunk. Everything I’ve said to him tonight has absolutely no credibility because of it. I let go of his wrist and turn away from him.   
“Just go,” I say. “I’m sorry. I won’t stop you.”   
Suddenly, I’m very tired, and very ashamed of myself. I turn around, leaning my back against the rail, and I let myself slide down. I desperately want to cry, but I’ll force myself to wait until he’s gone. I wrench my eyes closed and hope that he’s gone when I open them. I’ve made a complete fool of myself. What was I thinking? How could I think for a second that he wanted me? No one wants me. Agatha wanted me for a while, but then she saw what everyone else sees. I’m nothing. I’m no one; not worth sticking around for.  
I feel Baz sit down next to me. His shoulder presses against mine, and he doesn’t move it away.   
“You’re right,” he says. “I have been watching you all summer. Well, since you started lifeguarding, anyway. I come to the beach every day during the summer; I always have. My mother… She passed away when I was very young. I don’t have a lot of memories of her. One of my favorites is coming here with her. When I’m here, I feel close to her again. I thought if I died here, that I could stay here and be close to her forever,” he pauses for a moment. I don’t open my eyes though. Maybe this is helping him. “The third day that I came to the beach this year, I saw you. You were so beautiful and golden, so full of life and happiness. Everything I’m not.” I flinch slightly at his words. Does that mean he thinks he isn’t beautiful? Or alive? “I haven’t felt anything for anyone…ever. I felt something when I saw you. I followed you, and I’ve watched you because, I love that feeling. Whatever it is that stirs inside me when I see you; I love it.” Now I do open my eyes. I can’t not look at him anymore. I need to know this is real. Baz looks into my eyes and my heart swells in my chest. “I asked Ebb for your name because I didn’t want to die not knowing it.”   
Baz’s eyes meet mine and I reach up, touching his cheek gently, then brushing my thumb over his lips.  
“I’m not going to kiss you tonight,” I blurt. Baz winces at my words, then looks away and nods his understanding. He doesn’t understand though. I place a finger under his chin and guide his face to mine; our lips almost touching. “But I want to,” I whisper. Baz closes his eyes, and shivers at my words. My finger is still under his chin, and he lets out a small sigh. His breath on my mouth is almost my undoing.   
I get to my feet and offer him a hand up. “Can I walk you home?” I ask. Baz eyes me warily and I think I know what he’s thinking. “I promise, to keep my hands to myself,” I say, making a show of tucking them into the pockets of my denim jacket.   
Baz shakes his head slightly and gives me the tiniest of smiles. “No, it’s not that,” he assures me. “It’s just that I don’t like the idea of you walking back to your place in your current state.”  
“I see,” I say, making a mental note to never fucking drink ever again.   
“You can walk me home on one condition,” he says, and I look up at him in surprise. I gesture for him to continue. I’ll do anything he wants. “You have to sleep on my sofa.” Oh.  
The thought that I could easily call and uber to meet me at his place so I wouldn’t have to walk home drunk instantly pops in my mind. I almost feel guilty about not mentioning it until I realize that Baz is most likely already aware of this too.   
“Lead the way,” I say to him. This is probably an awful idea. I’ve made such an arse out of myself tonight as it is, but I’m a glutton for punishment, so here we are.   
“Oh, and I should warn you now,” Baz says, carefully. “I live with my aunt, and she should be home by now, so if you see a crazy woman roaming about, it’s just her.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some fluff.

I’m standing in Baz’s living room, watching him set up his couch for me with fresh sheets, pillows from his own bed, and two soft, quilted blankets. (In case I get cold.) I don’t tell him that I don’t usually even use a blanket. I always run hot; especially at night. When he’s finished making it all nice and neat, I walk over and pick up the pillow, frowning.   
“Is something wrong?” Baz asks, face full of concern.   
“No mint?” I ask.   
He takes the pillow from me and hits me in the face with it, but when I pull it away, he’s smiling.   
“Goodnight, smartass,” he says. I laugh, and he promptly shushes me, and I make a zipper motion over my mouth. We miraculously haven’t woken his aunt up, and I don’t want to muck that up now.   
“Goodnight, Baz,” I whisper back. “And thank you,” I add, gesturing to the couch.  
He nods and disappears down the hall. I lay down and settle in for sleep. I’m exhausted, and I think I’m going to have to steal this pillow when I leave. It’s so, so soft. I turn on my side and breathe in the scent of Baz. Sleep claims me swiftly and peacefully.  
{+}  
“Simon,” Baz is whispering my name and gently shaking my shoulder. I open one eye, and then the other. Baz is smiling at me nervously. He’s freshly showered and smelling more Bazzy than ever.   
“I’m awake,” I tell him.   
“How did you sleep?” he asks me. I yawn loudly and stretch before I answer him.   
“Like a log, thanks,” I say. He laughs a little and rolls his eyes.   
“Yeah, I know you did,” he says. “I was just being polite. You snore like a freight train.” I feel my cheeks heat up and hide my face in the pillow next to me.   
“I do not,” I argue. It’s muffled, but he hears me.   
“Oh yes you do; I thought I was under attack last night,” he says. I’m mortified that he heard my drunken snoring, but I’m also ecstatic that he’s in a playful mood right now.   
“I’ll buy you some earplugs, alright?” I say, swatting at him with the pillow. Baz’s smile fades and he gives me an almost hungry look. I blush even deeper as I realize that I just implied we’d be spending more nights together.   
“You want some food?” he asks. He’s still whispering. His aunt must still be sleeping.   
“Always,” I say. He smiles at that and offers me a hand. He pulls me to my feet and shows me to the bathroom, then excuses himself to go cook breakfast.   
I flick on the light, and wince. My head is pounding. I use the toilet then wash up. After I splash some water on my face and help myself to some mouthwash, I open the medicine cabinet in search of some asprin. There has to be at least ten prescription bottles in here, all with Baz’s name one them. I quickly shut the cabinet and silently pray that he didn’t hear me snooping.   
When I emerge from the bathroom, I take my time walking to the kitchen. Baz’s apartment isn’t at all what I expected. There’s art and framed photos on every wall. I recognize some of his family members in a few of the pictures from the articles I’ve read about his family online. (Sue me.) I pick up a photo of a younger Baz with his arm slung over an older woman’s shoulders. She’s very pretty but looks like someone that shouldn’t be trifled with. (Like Baz.) She isn’t pale like Baz though; she has dark olive skin and dark hair with a shocking white streak in front. I wonder if it’s natural. I look around a bit more and I see the same woman in more of the photos. This must be his aunt.   
I walk over to the large shelf on the wall by the window and I wonder which of these books is Baz’s favorite. There’s a record player in the corner and I sneak a peek at what is sitting on top. Jeff Buckley. I’m a little surprised, but that suits him. I was expecting The Smiths or Elliot Smith, to be honest. I decide that I’ve taken long enough, so I start making my way back to Baz. As I pass by the piano on the opposite side of the room though, a picture catches my eye. It’s smaller than the rest, tucked into the corner of another photo. I pull it out and stare at it. It’s him as a toddler. He’s all olive skinned with rosy cheeks, and he’s smiling. He looks so happy. I wish I could see who he’s looking at.   
“Come on, Simon,” Baz says from the doorway, startling me. He smiles at my jumpiness. “You can look at embarrassing photos later, but you have to eat first.”  
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I follow him to the kitchen, and I smell bacon, syrup, and Baz all mixed together. Suddenly, I’m ravenous. I sit down at the table and look at him in confusion. There’s only one place setting.   
“Eat,” he says, gesturing to it.  
“Aren’t you going to join me?” I ask. I feel awkward now. He just cooked all this food for me?  
“I, uh, already ate,” he says pointedly. Oh. He must mean…  
I reach up and start frantically feeling my neck, then look up and smirk at him.   
“Very cute,” he says, sounding as if it wasn’t cute at all. I snigger anyway. I think I’m hilarious.  
“So, is it difficult?” I ask. He sits down across from me with a teacup in his hand.   
“Care to elaborate?” he prompts.   
“Eating,” I explain.   
“Oh, no. Actually, it’s quite simple. I just have to make a weekly trip to the butcher, like anyone else.” _Like anyone else_ , I think. _Right._   
“So, it doesn’t have to be human?” I ask. He shakes his head. “Or…fresh, then?”   
“It doesn’t _have_ to be, no,” he says awkwardly, then scrunches his nose. “Can we talk about something else?”  
Suddenly, we aren’t alone anymore.   
“Has anyone seen my cat? I can’t find her anywhere,” a woman asks, shuffling into the living room with a cup of coffee in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. This must be his Aunt Fiona.  
My eyes go wide, and I look at Baz. He didn’t.  
He’s unamused, “Very funny, Fi.”  
“Don’t worry, love,” she says to me, “I’m only trying to get a rise out of little Baz, here. Your pets are perfectly safe with him. I think,” she winks, and I give her a nervous smile.  
“I haven’t got any pets,” I say.   
“Well… that’s lucky,” she says, making her way to the balcony door and sliding out.   
“She seems nice,” I say to Baz. He snorts into his teacup.  
{+}  
It turns out, Fiona actually is quite nice. She’s loud, and vulgar, and kind of rude, but nice. I quite like her. I think she likes me too.   
“So, how long have you been shagging my nephew?” she asks, having a seat next to me at the table. She smells of coffee and cigarettes.   
I laugh at her question, but Baz get’s all flustered. “That’s- Fiona- No. No one is shagging anyone, okay? Bugger off, would you?”  
“Bugger off?” Fiona repeats, placing a hand on her heart, feigning offense. “Is that any way to speak to your favorite aunt?” She reaches over to my plate and snatches a piece of bacon. “What are you boys doing today?” she asks.   
I sneak a glance at Baz and catch him doing the same. “We haven’t made any plans,” I tell her. “Baz is probably ready to be rid of me, I’d imagine.”  
Fiona scoffs. “I wouldn’t.”  
“Fiona,” Baz practically growls. “Would you please-“  
“Alright, alright,” she says, hopping up. “I’m leaving.” She leans over my shoulder crowding in my space. “It was lovely meeting you, Simon. If you hurt him, I’ll rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your prick.”  
“Noted,” I say.   
Baz and I both watch her leave the room, then he looks over at me with an apologetic smile. I just shrug.   
“I think she’s brilliant,” I say, and I mean it.   
“Yeah, she’s a real peach,” he says. “So, what _are_ your plans for today?”   
“You tell me,” I say. Baz’s pale cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink I’ve ever seen. It’s my new favorite color.   
He catches me staring, and clears his throat, “It’s going to rain all day today,” he tells me. “I was thinking of seeing a movie. Would you like to come?”  
“I’d love to,” I say. Baz smiles at me and looks around like he’s unsure of what to do next. It’s weird being here in his house like this. He’s so… normal. In my head, I had him pegged as this mysterious, brooding, depressing vampire, but really, he’s not like that. He’s just a regular boy who happens to be sad. He reads books, and listens to records, and surrounds himself with family photos. His home is downright cozy. He goes to movies, and jokes with his aunt, and puts way too much sugar in his tea, and he…  
“Do you play guitar?” I ask, abruptly. Baz quirks and eyebrow up at me.   
“Violin,” he says.   
And he plays violin.  
“Are you finished?” he asks.   
“Oh, yes, I am,” I say. “It was delicious. Thank you so much.” I add great at cooking to the list of things I’m learning about him. “I feel kind of guilty,” I tell him as I pick up my plate and take it to the sink. Baz follows me into the kitchen.   
“Whys that?” he asks.   
“I feel like you’ve been waiting on me hand and foot since I’ve been here,” I say. He waves me off. “I’m not used to people fussing over me.”  
“You’re my guest.”  
“Well,” I say, rinsing my plate off and placing into the drying rack, “you’ll have to let me repay the favor sometime.” I look over at Baz and he has an odd expression on his face. “Oh. Do you eat regular food or…?”  
“No, yeah, I eat food, Simon,” he says. “I just, was surprised that you wanted to hang out again.” He looks down at his feet. It’s not a good look for him.   
“Hey,” I say, placing a finger under his chin. He’s taller than me, so it’s more awkward than it was in a seated position. “Look at me,” I say. He does. “What did I tell you last night? I want to get to know you.”  
“Well, you were drunk so, I thought that-“ I move my finger from his chin to his lips to silence him.   
“Yeah, so I had absolutely no filter,” I admit. “I didn’t say anything I didn’t mean, and I remember everything, okay?” He gives me a small nod and I remove my finger. “Which reminds me,” I say, taking hold of his shoulder and leaning up into him. I lightly press my mouth to his, and I pull away before he has much time to react. I anxiously watch his face for a reaction. I hope that was okay. Baz’s eyes are blown wide and he brings his fingers up to his lips and holds them there for a second. He’s not saying anything. Oh God.   
“Was that… bad?” I ask.   
“No,” he practically shouts. “I mean, no,” he says more calmly, “I just wasn’t expecting you to do that. I, um, I’m not used to being so close to a… someone like you.”   
“Ah,” I say, trying not to let on that my heart just broke for him a little bit, “I’ll, uh, count it down next time, okay?” I say with a little laugh. I don’t want him to think I’m afraid of him.   
“Next time?” he asks.   
“Yeah, is that okay?” I ask.   
“Yes,” he says. “That’s perfectly okay.”


	5. Chapter 5

I left my phone at The Randy Goat, so Baz and I head over to retrieve it before we go to the theater. This time, we take his car. When he offered to drive us around today, I figured we’d be in something like a Maserati or the Batmobile, but no. He drives a Volkswagen sedan. So normal.  
As we get closer to the pub, I start to feel anxiety creeping in. I don’t want to deal with the fallout from the tiff I had with Penny. I hope she isn’t there. She is probably worried sick right now. A wave of guilt washes over me as I think about how her night must have been. Fighting with me, sitting at home alone, fretting when I didn’t show up… I sigh, and chew on my lip, as I try to figure out what I should say to her.  
“Is something wrong?” Baz asks me. He seems really uncomfortable. I guess I have been quiet and moody since we left his flat.  
“Penny and I fought last night,” I explain. “I don’t want to deal with it.”  
“Was it bad?” Baz asks. I sigh and lean my head on the window.  
“No, but we never fight, so I don’t really know what to do. I’m not good at things like that,” I say.  
“Things like what? Apologizing?” Baz asks. He has a point. That’s all that really needs to be done. I don’t know what to say sorry for though. I still think she was wrong to bring my mother up like that, even if she was probably, mostly right.  
“She made some uncomfortably accurate insights about my character and I got pissed,” I confess.  
Baz makes an exaggerated wincing sound, “Yeah, that’s always rough.” He pulls his car into the parking lot and just sits there without turning off the ignition.  
“Come in with me,” I say. “I want to properly introduce you to Ebb.” Baz looks from me to the building, then back again like he’s thinking it over.  
“Umm,” he starts, and I stick out my bottom lip. Baz rolls his eyes and unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, okay,” he says. “Come on, then.”  
I smile brightly at him, and get out of the car, rushing over to open his door for him. “You better appreciate this,” he says. “I wouldn’t get wet for many people.” I quickly shrug out of my jacket and throw it up over his head, shielding him from the rain and walking backwards. He laughs at me, and it’s a wonderful sound. When we make it under the tin cover of the front patio, I nearly run into someone.  
“Simon?” a female voice asks from behind me. I turn around expecting to see Penny, but it isn’t her. It’s Agatha.  
“Oh, hey, Ags,” I say. This is awkward. So very awkward. For multiple reasons. “What are you doing here?” I ask. She hates this place. She never wanted to come here when we were dating. She said it was grimy and that Ebb gave her a ‘weird vibe’.  
“I was looking for you,” she says. “No one could get in touch with you to tell you: work’s cancelled. It’s raining.”  
“Uh, yeah, I spotted that too,” I say. Is that really why she came here? We never work when it rains.  
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She asks, then pointedly looks at Baz. “Alone.”  
“I’ll just wait inside,” Baz mumbles. He moves to push past me, but I grab his sleeve.  
“No. That’s-“ I shake my head. No no no. Agatha doesn’t get to make us uncomfortable right now. I finally get to spend some real time with Baz and I’m not going to blow it, so she can ask me a bunch of questions that I’m really in no mood to answer for her. I turn to look at Agatha. “I will call you later,” I say trying my best, and failing, to keep the irritation from my voice.  
I open the door and tilt my head, signaling for Baz to go ahead. I shake out my jacket and hang it on the coatrack to dry.  
“You didn’t have to do that,” Baz says, “I wouldn’t mind waiting while you spoke to her.”  
“Trust me,” I tell him, “whatever she wants can wait.”  
I place my hand on the small of his back and guide him to the bar.  
“Hiya, Ebb,” I say, as I pull out a stool for him. Ebb turns around and her face lights up when she sees who I’m with. “Look what I found,” I say. Baz gives me a look then holds his hand out to Ebb.  
“I’m Baz,” he says, shaking her hand. “A pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”  
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Ebb says. She looks at me and wiggles her eyebrows. “Figured that’s where you got off to last night,” she whispers. “I’m glad you boys got things sorted,” she says to the both of us. She asks if we want any food. I order some chips, but Baz declines. Ebb pours us both a glass of water then disappears into the kitchen.  
“So, are you just never going to eat around me?” I ask Baz.  
“It’s not you,” he tells me. “It’s just,” he looks over both shoulders making sure there is no one within earshot. “My fangs pop out when I eat, so I never do it in public.”  
“We can go somewhere more private if you’re hungry,” I offer. “Let’s go back to your flat. Or mine. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I’m here all the time. It won’t hurt my feelings to leave.”  
“Yeah, I noticed that,” Baz says, ignoring my concerns. “You aren’t a lush, are you?”  
I laugh out loud at this. Oh God, it probably does look pretty bad, doesn’t it? “No, nothing like that,” I assure him. “Ebb took me in when I had no where else to go a few years ago. She gave me a job and let me live in the flat upstairs. It just feels like home,” I explain. He has the tiniest bit of pity in his eyes. I hope he doesn’t ask for details. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my past, it’s just… well, maybe that’s it. _Anyway,_ ” I say, “let’s get some food to go. We can go somewhere just me and you,” I say.  
Baz shakes his head and gives me a reassuring smile, “You’re sweet to be concerned, but I ate plenty this morning before I woke you up. I won’t need to eat for a while.”  
Ebb comes back to us and places a plate of chips in front of me. “Oh, and before I forget,” she says, walking over to the cash register, “you left your mobile on the bar last night.” I thank her and unlock it. I have twelve missed calls and five new texts.  
“Jesus,” I say as I scroll through. My boss called twice and texted to tell me not to come into work, Reith called and sent a similar text, Agatha called three times and texted twice (I haven’t read them), and the rest of the calls are Penny who texted twice. One of her texts says ‘call me’ the other says ‘I’m sorry.’  
I send her a quick text explaining that I wasn’t ignoring her, I just left my phone at the pub. I say I’m sorry too, and that I love her.  
Hopefully this text will help me avoid talking everything out with her later. I’m shit with words and I always get uncomfortable and tongue tied when I’m supposed to be expressing my feelings.  
I silence my phone then shove it in my pocket. When I turn to Baz, he’s looking at me with an odd expression. He looks deep in thought and on guard. He always looks on guard.  
“Sorry, that was rude. I just had to tell Penny that I’m alive,” I explain. I give him a sheepish smile, and he just nods.  
“It’s no problem. I understand,” he says.  
“So, Basilton Grimm-Pitch,” I say, making him look at me with an amused little smile, “tell me something about yourself.”  
“What should I tell you, Simon Snow?” he asks, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. His usually straight hair is falling in loose waves around his neck and face. It must be because of the rain. I smile at the thought of him blow drying it straight. I wonder if that’s something I’ll ever get to see.  
After a much too long pause, I realize that I haven’t answered. I’m not too embarrassed though. It’s not my fault he’s so gorgeous and distracting. “Whatever you want to tell me,” I say, giving him an innocent look.  
“I know this is cliché, but there isn’t much to tell,” he says.  
“You’re a billionaire gay vampire, and there isn’t much to tell?” I ask. Baz laughs at this, putting a hand on my knee to steady himself. I wish I could make him laugh with everything I say.  
“Fair enough,” he says. So, he is gay. Good to know.  
“Let me guess,” I say, and he looks intrigued. “You went to a fancy pants boarding school from a very young age, you speak eleven languages… you play violin, so you’re probably a music snob, and you’re going to some ivy league university when summer’s over, so that you can study business and work for your father.”  
Baz looks at me in astonishment. “That’s surprisingly accurate,” he says, “but I only speak four languages.”  
“Oh, well, I guess you aren’t as cool as I thought then,” I say. He pinches my thigh.  
“You don’t play fair. Did you Google me, or am I that transparent?” he asks, cutting his eyes at me.  
“Well… Penny Googled you first,” I admit. “Your name was familiar to her.” He gives me a look, and I feel like I’ve said too much.  
“She was warning you to stay away from me, wasn’t she?” He asks.  
“What? No,” I say. “It was your mother that she remembered. She read an article about her before she moved here to be with me.”  
“Researching the vampire murders,” he says, his face is a blank mask.  
“Well, yeah,” I say with a shrug, “everyone checks out crime statistics before they move.” I don’t like where this conversation is going. He’s shutting down; I can sense it. “Hey, we should get going if we’re going to make it to the movie on time,” I say. He nods, and I take him by the hand. I don’t let go until we reach the car.  
{+}  
Baz is quiet the whole way to the theater. He’s quiet in the ticket line, and only speaks when he’s paying for our tickets. I buy our snacks from the concession stand, and he thanks me then immediately clams up again.  
When we reach our screening room, I lead Baz all the way to the back row to the right. I don’t know how he feels about PDA, and I have every intention of getting cozy during this movie. The previews start, and I offer him some popcorn, but he declines. I offer him a Malteser, and he takes one. He pops it in his mouth, and I gape at him in mock astonishment. I don’t see any fangs. I think he may be paranoid or overexaggerating to himself somehow.  
“Oh my God,” I whisper, “I feel like we’ve hit a relationship milestone.”  
Baz finishes chewing the candy and swallows. He covers his mouth with his hand and asks, “Relationship?”  
I’m so thankful for the darkness of the theater, because I feel like my face is on fire right now. Oh God, can Baz see that? Vampires can see in the dark, right? Isn’t that there thing? Or one of their things?  
“Uh…” I don’t really know what to say. I wave my hand at him dismissively. “You know what I mean.”  
Baz leans over and places his chin on his fist. “No, I don’t think I do, Simon,” he says, “enlighten me.” Cheeky bastard.  
“Shhh, it’s rude to talk during the movie,” I tell him.  
“Ah, okay,” he says. I peek over at him, and he’s smiling smugly. Tosser.  
I reach over and lace my fingers through his. He stiffens for a moment, but he doesn’t move, and he doesn’t say anything. So, I don’t move, and I don’t say anything either. I just sit there through the rest of the previews and then the opening credits, holding onto his hand like I may float away if I don’t. Like he may float away.  
I tell myself to be patient; to just wait and see what Baz does. I don’t want to scare him away, but I don’t want him to feel like I don’t want him. I can’t take it anymore, so I glance over at him. He’s staring straight ahead, concentrating as if we’ll be tested on our knowledge of this movie in the future.  
“I like you,” I whisper to him, over my shoulder. (Patience has never been one of my strong suits.) An almost pained expression flashes across his face, then he turns to look down at me, just as fiercely as he was staring at the screen.  
“I like you too,” he says.  
“5,” I whisper; Baz looks at me in confusion. “4,” I continue, and understanding smooths out his features. “3,” he smiles and leans in close, then he kisses _me._  
Baz’s cool lips are so soft and inviting. It’s all I can do to stay in my own seat. I’ve kissed Agatha plenty of times, but I’ve never felt quite like this. _It’s because he’s a vampire, and it’s dangerous,_ I think. I resist physically shake my head as I think, _No, it’s because it’s Baz, and he’s special._ My pulse is beating fast, my heart is swelling in my chest, so much so that I feel I may suffocate. I allow myself to relax when Baz brings his chilly fingers to my throat then around my neck, pulling me close. I gently grab a fistful of his shirt and pull. I press my tongue into his mouth, searching for his, and he gasps. The sound of it sets my insides alight and awakens something dark and hungry inside me. I deepen our kiss and when I briefly graze his teeth with my tongue, he abruptly jerks away.  
I search his face for an explanation. He looks flushed and out of breath and a little scared. I reach up to touch his cheek and he flinches, so I pull in back. I don’t know why, but I feel guilty.  
“Did I do something wrong?” I whisper, looking down at my hands in my lap.  
“No,” Baz says. He takes one of my hands in his and gives it a little squeeze. He jerks it back just as suddenly as before and sighs. “It’s your scent, and your pulse.” Baz covers his face with his hands and presses his fingertips into his eyes. “I need some air,” he tells me. Before I can, answer, he gets up and makes for the exit.  
I hesitate for a second. He may not want me around right now. He didn’t explicitly tell me to stay here though, so… I follow him.  
{+}  
Once outside, I find Baz easily. He’s leaning against the building. I know he hears/senses me approaching, but he doesn’t say anything or look my way. Instead, he busies himself with pulling a cigarette out of his shirt pocket and lighting it. He takes a drag and looks over at me warily.  
“I didn’t know you smoked,” is all I say.  
Baz lets out a heavy sigh along with smoke. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”  
It’s my turn to sigh. “So, do you want to talk about what happened back there?” I ask.  
“Not really,” he replies.  
“Right,” I mumble. I turn and lean my back against the brick next to him. I’m not going to press him about it. He’ll open up in time. He just needs space right now, so I’ll give it to him. I really don’t want to push him away.  
“Hey, so, my flat is pretty much right around the corner,” I tell him. He looks over at me with an unreadable expression. “I can walk myself home; let you get your…air.” Baz looks down at the ground. I think he’s angry, but he’s smiling when he looks back up.  
“Sure, Simon,” he says. “Sorry about ruining the movie,” he tosses his head towards the theater.  
“You didn’t,” I assure him. “Give me your mobile.”  
He pulls the phone out of his back pocket and hands it to me. “I had a great time with you today,” I say, dialing my own number from his phone. I press send, then hang up as soon as his number pops up on my screen. “I’ll call you tonight, yeah?”  
I lean over to place a kiss on his cheek, then think better of it. I straighten and take a step back. I wave awkwardly and turn to leave before he can tell me not to call or something equally crushing.  
{+}  
I turn the corner and head for the alley that wraps around to the back of my apartment building. I hear footsteps behind me, and I turn around, smiling, expecting to see Baz. It isn’t him though. It’s an older man. He’s short and stocky and looks at me with a joyless grin. I turn around and immediately hear the unmistakable footfalls of running. I dart to my left and the man passes me the spins around, holding a knife.  
“Don’t do anything stupid,” I tell him, raising my hands above my head. “I’m going to reach for my wallet, yeah?” I slowly lower one hand to my rear pocket and fish the wallet out. I throw it behind the man so that he has to walk a considerable distance away from me to retrieve it.  
“Think that’s clever, do ya?” He growls. I start backing away and he lurches at me, connecting his fist with my nose. I crumble to the ground and look up at the man with blood pouring down my face. My nose is definitely broken, but I can’t do anything for it right now. I shakily get to my feet and hold my fists up ready to fight. When my eyes focus, I see the man coming towards me, this time, seemingly intent on using his knife. I look from his knife to his face, and that’s when I notice the fangs. I scramble backwards, trip on a cement block and go sprawling on my arse. The vampire is standing over me within the same second.  
“Stop,” I hear someone- no, not someone- _Baz_ yell from the entrance of the alley. I don’t even hear his footsteps before he tackles my attacker to the ground. The vampire hits the gravel with a thud and Baz is punching him again and again. The attacker swings his knife out to stab Baz in the gut, but before I can even scream, Baz grabs the man’s hand and snaps his wrist. The man loses consciousness, either from the shock of it, or the final blow that Baz makes to his face, but Baz doesn’t move off of him. He just sits there, straddling him, panting.  
“Baz?” I say. He doesn’t answer. I kneel down next to him and place a hand on his shoulder. Baz jerks away from me and whirls around. His eyes are wild, and his fangs are out. “Hey, it’s okay,” I say soothingly. I go to touch him again and he jumps to his feet. He stands a few feet away from me, eyes searching me feverishly from my head to my toes. “Are you okay?” I ask. I want to go to him; to hold him, but I can’t move. I stay on my knees.  
“Am _I_ okay?” He lets out a sharp, hysterical laugh and clamps a hand over his mouth. It’s covered in blood. He looks at his fingers with wide eyes, then down at the man.  
An old woman in a flat above us opens her window and pokes her head out, “Are you boys alright?” she asks.  
“Uh, yeah,” I call to her.  
“I called the police,” she says.  
"Thanks," I yell, then slams her window shut again.  
I look at Baz with an amused look, but I see that he's in no mood for laughing with me, so I clear my throat and straighten up.  
“How did you know I was in trouble?” I aks.  
“I heard you, from the theater,” he says. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here faster. I should have walked you home, I should have-“ he stops and shakes his head.  
I look up at Baz, and he leans against the building then lets himself sink down to the ground. We stay there for a few minutes, then I hear the sirens. I start crawling towards Baz, but he holds up a hand.  
“Please, Simon,” he says. “I can’t. The blood.”  
I freeze and sit down. When I hear the policemen’s voices, I look up at Baz.  
“You’re safe now,” he says and gets up. Before I can even ask him to stay with me, he jumps the gate behind the dumpster, and he’s gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For all my Agatha lovers. <3

The police don’t make me take an ambulance to the hospital, but they do insist on taking me. It turns out my nose is broken. The doctor has set it and now I’m sitting in the examine room with two tampons up my nostrils, waiting for the bleeding to stop.  
This is the state I’m in when Penny walks through the door. She immediately bursts into tears and pounces on me, wrapping her arms around me so tightly I can barely breathe.  
“Oh, Simon, you could have been killed,” she cries. “Oh God, I tried to prepare myself but you- you look so-“ Penny sobs and shakes her head at me, then buries her face in my neck. She holds me, or rather, I hold her like that until the doctor comes in again to take the tampons out and apply a splint. Penny holds my hand the whole time.  
“All right, you,” Penny says once he’s finished, “I’m going to get your paperwork from the nurse, and then I’m taking you straight home.” Being domineering gives Penny a sense of control, so I just wink at her, then wince. Ok, winking’s out for a while.  
“Now, I don’t think you’ve got a concussion, Mr. Snow, but have your girlfriend bring you back up here if your vision goes blurry or if you begin feeling lethargic,” the doctor says to me. I don’t correct him, I just nod and go to the front desk to meet Penny.  
{+}  
My phone dings and I quickly pull it out of my pocket. My heart sinks when I see that it’s just Reith. He’s agreed to cover for me tomorrow.  
“Not Baz, huh?” Penny asks. She’s sitting in our armchair nursing a cup of tea. She made one for me as well, but I’m not in the mood.  
I shake my head and look down at my phone again.  
“You could text him,” Penny suggests. “Just tell him you’re alright and you’re at home. That’s not pushy, it’s just informative.”  
“Right,” I say. She has a point. “I would want him to text me if the roles were reversed.” She nods encouragingly. _Of course, I would have gone to the bloody hospital with him, and would most likely still be with him, if we’re being honest,_ I add silently. God, I hope he’s okay. That was so scary. I unlock my phone and type a text to Baz.  
SS: (6:46): **Home from the hospital. Nose is broken.**  
Is that too… cold? I send another.  
SS: (6:46): **I’m fine though. Thanks to you. 😊**  
I press send then immediately send another.  
SS: (6:47): **Really…Thank you for what you did. I hope you’re alright.**  
Baz doesn’t reply all night. I check the messages every so often (or every five minutes) to see if he’s read them. He doesn’t until almost 10 o’clock. Even then, he doesn’t respond.  
I knock on Penny’s door and she answers in her pajamas. She was clearly just asleep, though she pretends like she wasn’t.  
“What’s up, Si?” she asks cheerily.  
“He read the text,” I say. Penny’s face lights up, but I shake my head. “He hasn’t said anything back.” I swallow the lump rising in my throat. Saying it out loud makes me want to cry.  
“He probably just isn’t sure what to say. He might even be traumatized,” she says. I know she’s trying to make me feel better, but the thought of a traumatized Baz just makes me want to go to him.  
“You think I should go over there?” I ask.  
“Uh…” Penny hesitates for a moment. “Best we don’t do that in the middle of the night. How about, if you don’t hear from him by tomorrow afternoon, I’ll go over there with you?”  
I nod and turn to leave, but Penny grabs my arm. She wraps her arms around my neck and whispers in my ear, “Everything will be better in the morning, I promise.”  
My chin immediately starts wobbling, and I hold her close. I don’t want to let go. She’s all I have in the world now.  
“Can I sleep in your room?” I ask. Penny nods, and we crawl into her bed together. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep, but I can’t. I lay there in the darkness going through the events of the day, then all of the events that lead up to it. I feel the tears threatening to fall again, so I reach over and grab Penny’s hand for comfort. She squeezes my hand, and I jolt in surprise.  
“I don’t want to lose him already,” I rasp.  
“I know,” she whispers.  
{+}

When I wake up, I feel a little disoriented for a moment, until I realize that this is not my room. I look over beside me, but Penny isn’t there. I let out a sigh of relief. I’m embarrassed that I slept in her bed like a scared toddler. She’s going to be a great mom someday. She gets plenty of practice having to deal with my shit all the time.  
I get up and walk to my room. I pick my mobile up from the nightstand and check my messages. Baz texted back.  
**BP: (1:13): I’m fine.**  
I’m not sure whether or not to feel relieved. I’m happy that he texted me back, but… what am I supposed to do with this?  
**SS: (8:23): Good morning.**  
**SS: (8:23): I don’t have work today. Can I see you?**  
This time, I don’t have to wait long for a reply. When I read it though, I wish he hadn’t said anything at all.  
**BP: (8:25): That probably isn’t a good idea.**  
**SS: (8:25): Why?**  
**BP: (8:27): You know why.**  
**BP: (8:27): I don’t want to see you anymore.**  
**SS: (8:28): Please don’t do this**  
Baz doesn’t respond, so I call him. He doesn’t answer. He can’t do this. He’s breaking up with me? Over fucking text? Can I even call it breaking up? How can this be over? It never even started. I’m pacing my room and pulling at my curls when Penny knocks on the door.  
“Simon? You in there? I’m making scones,” she calls through the door.  
“No, thanks,” I answer.  
Good God. What has he done to me?

{+}  
I’ve given Baz five whole days to think things over or do whatever the hell he needs to do, but I can’t wait any longer. I need to see him. If I can just see him in person, I know I can make him see that he doesn’t want to do this.  
He’s _not_ doing this. Not like this, anyway. I deserve something face to face. We both do. I pick up my phone from the floor and send him another text.  
**SS: (11:24): I’m coming over.**  
{+}  
I knock on Baz’s door and tap my foot nervously. The door swings open and Fiona looks at me with a face so full of pity I want to run and hide.  
“Oh my God, Simon,” she groans, taking a step towards me and taking my chin in her warm hand so she can move my face from side to side, inspecting my nose and two black eyes. “People just love punching you in the face, don’t they?” she asks.  
“I guess I just have that effect on people,” I tell her. She smiles weakly, dropping her hand and stepping back into the doorway. “Is he here?” I ask. I don’t want to beat around the bush.  
Fiona nods her head ‘yes’ and says “No,” at the same time. My shoulders slump and she claps a hand down on my shoulder. “Sorry, kid, I’m under strict orders,” she tells me.  
“Fine,” I say. “If he doesn’t want to see me anymore, there’s nothing I can do, I guess.” I need to leave. I need to leave now. I’m going to cry, and I really don’t want to do it in front of Fiona. I clear my throat and sniff my tears back. “Could you just tell him that I do want to see him, and he knows where to find me?”  
“Will do, boyo,” she says.  
{+}  
I’m texting for an uber as I hurry down the stairs, and I crash into a boy. My elbow bangs into his forearm and the two iced coffees he was holding get crushed between our chests.  
“Jesus Christ almighty,” the guy bellows. We both spring apart and start swiping at the mess on our clothes.  
“Oh God. I am so sorry,” I say.  
“No, no,” he says, shaking out his dripping shirt. “I was texting. I wasn’t looking. I didn’t mean to yell at you; it’s just really cold.”  
“I was texting my uber driver. It was my fault too,” I tell him. “At least it wasn’t hot coffee, yeah?”  
He looks up from his shirt and gives me an amused grin. “Yeah, small mercies,” he says.  
“The coffee shop is next door, right?” I ask. “We could walk over. I’ll replace them.”  
The guy looks at me in surprise. “You don’t have to do that. Like I said, I was just as distracted as you.”  
“Let me pay you for the coffee then,” I say, reaching for my wallet.  
“That really isn’t necessary,” he says.  
“One of them?” I ask. He shakes his head, laughing at me. “I just feel like a total prat,” I tell him. I reach up and rub the back of my neck nervously. This guy reminds me of Baz for some reason. Maybe I’m just projecting.  
“Don’t. You’re very sweet,” he says. “I’m late for a lunch date though, so I should…” he points up the stairs, indicating that he should get going.  
“Ah, right,” I say, “Sorry, again.”  
“I’m sorry too,” he says. “About your clothes and all.”  
I smile and wave him off. “No worries,” I say, and I start climbing down the stairs, carefully this time.  
My uber driver is not happy when he sees the state of my clothes. I run across the street and buy a newspaper to sit on, and that earns his forgiveness.  
When I reach my flat, I realize that in my haste, I forgot my keys. I knock on the door, hoping Penny will still be home. No such luck. I lean against the wall and bury my face in my hands. When I move my hands away to reach for my phone, I see that I’m not alone.  
{+}  
“Hello, Agatha,” I say, with a dejected smile, “Did you come to pour salt on my wounds?”  
“Your face,” she gasps, rushing over to me and placing a small hand on each of my cheeks. Her eyes brim with tears. “Are you in a lot of pain?” she asks.  
I shake my head because I don’t have it in me to verbalize a lie right now.  
“Why are you here?” I ask her. She removes her hands from my face, and fiddles with her purse strap nervously.  
“Reith told me that you were attacked, and I just wanted to see if you were alright,” she says meekly. “Are you alright?” She looks up at me and everything about her is so inviting and familiar and her face is so pretty and warm that… I lose it. I start crying right there in the hallway.  
“No,” I croak. “I’m not alright. I’m not alright at all.” Agatha wraps me in a fierce hug, and I rest my cheek on the top of her head. She lets me cry until I can’t cry anymore. “I miss you,” I say into her hair when I feel like I can start to form coherent words again.  
“I miss you too,” she says. She sniffs and I think she may have been crying too. “Now,” she says, wiping at her eyes and straightening up, “tell me what’s going on.”  
First, I tell her that I’m locked out of the apartment, so we have a seat in the stairwell. Then I tell her about Baz.  
“I knew he was gay,” she says. I give her a withering look, and she waves her delicate hand at me. “Sorry, continue.”  
I tell her about the first time I saw him when he was with her, and how he bought my drink at the bar. I tell her that I saw him at the beach and how I saved his life the next day. I tell her about everything except that the drowning was intentional and that he’s a vampire. Some things aren’t my things to tell. Lastly, I tell her that I think I’m in love with him, but he won’t see me. I’m a bit vague on the details of why he thinks I should stay away from him, so she’s kind of just thinks he’s dramatic and weird. Either way, she listens to me, and it’s so good to be talking to her again.  
“Ok, so, what I’m hearing is that he has massively low self-esteem,” she says. I look at her in confusion, but she holds up a hand. “Hear me out,” she says. “He likes you; that much is obvious. I think he’s having a problem feeling like he deserves to be with you though.”  
“But why? He’s so perfect and I’m… nothing,” I tell her.  
“You’re nothing?” she asks, taken aback. “Simon, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”  
I look down a scoff, “Yeah, sure,” I say.  
“No, really,” she says, putting a hand on my arm. “You’re kind, generous, thoughtful, gentlemanly, smart, hot… and you literally saved his life. He would be lucky to have you, and he knows it.”  
“You didn’t know it?” I ask pointedly.  
“That’s fair. I’ve been awful,” she says. “Simon, you should know breaking up with you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I just… We dated for almost five years, and at the end of the summer I’ll have to leave. I didn’t want to be sad when I went to university. I wanted to give myself plenty of time to deal with this,” she gestures between us, “and find a new normal. I thought if we broke up right before I left that we wouldn’t have a chance to build something fresh. I want us to be friends.”  
“We’ll always be friends,” I tell her, and I mean it. I love her and I always will.  
“Good,” she says, smiling up at me. “So, what are you going to do about Baz?”  
I shrug, “I don’t know what to do. I went over there… he wouldn’t see me.”  
Agatha sighs, and looks deep in thought, “I’m thinking you’ll have to do some sort of romantic gesture,” she says.  
“Like what?” I ask.  
“I don’t know yet,” she says. “Let’s go have lunch and we can talk about our options.”  
“Uh… Look at me,” I say, “I can’t get into the apartment to change, remember?” She takes in my splint, my bruised face and my coffee stained t-shirt and makes a face.  
“I have some of your clothes in my car,” she says, “you can swap shirts on the way.”  
{+}  
We decide to eat at Café Watford because it’s a beautiful day. The restaurant has a great view and we can sit outside. As we’re walking from Agatha’s car to the entrance, she points out a flower shop across the street and tells me that I should buy Baz flowers and bring them to his flat after lunch.  
“No one can deny a man with flowers,” she says, making me laugh. I wince as my nose stings from the small strain and Agatha reaches up, gingerly rubbing my nose with her fingertips. “Aww, I’m sorry,” she says. “I’ll try to be less funny,” I laugh again and swat her away.  
“Not helping,” I say. I look away from her pretty smile, and suddenly, I’m making eye contact with Baz. Of course, he’s at the same restaurant that I’m at with my fucking ex-girlfriend. He’s standing up, looking from me to Agatha to me again with a hurt expression on his face. My heart starts pounding in my chest and I stop breathing while I try to figure out how to proceed. I look down for a moment and see that he’s not alone. Sitting at the table he’s standing next to is the boy I ran into in the stairwell of his building. The one that was late for a lunch date… He follows Baz’s eyes and spots me. He smiles and goes to wave at me then understanding dawns on him. Oh God, does that mean they talked about me? Baz talked about me with his date? I feel like I’m going to be sick.  
“Ags, we have to get out of here,” I tell her, taking hold of her arm and guiding her in the opposite direction.  
“What why?” she says, looking around wildly.  
“Be cool,” I say quietly, “I’ll tell you in the car.”  
“Simon, what is it?” she asks. I don’t slow my pace, as I explain what I just saw. “He’s on a date?” she asks. I nod and she starts digging in her purse for her keys.  
He’s on a date. With a fucking nice guy. We finally reach Agatha’s car and I open her door for her, I slam the door as soon as she’s settled and when I turn around, Baz is standing right in front of me. I gasp out loud. How does he move so fast? I know he’s a vampire, but still… it’s unnerving.  
“Oh God,” he says, covering his mouth with one hand and his heart with the other as he takes in the sight of my face up close. I turn my face a little and look down. I don’t need his pity right now. “I should have killed that guy,” he says. I look up in shock and his expression is stony.  
“It looks worse than it is,” I mumble. He doesn’t look convinced. “So, what’s up?” I ask curtly. I look over at the dining patio and see Baz’s date staring at us through his cool guy sunglasses. Ugh. That’s not fair. The sunglasses are nice, and he probably is a cool guy…  
“That’s Dev,” Baz says. I look at him and give him a tight lipped, insincere smile.  
“How nice,” I say. Baz shakes his head like I’m missing something.  
“No, he’s my cousin, Dev,” he tells me. “He’s my best friend.”  
“Huh, I didn’t know you had friends,” I say. I do my best to keep the overwhelming relief off my face as I talk to him.  
“Two, actually,” he says with a smirk. “Dev and Niall have been on vacation all summer. Dev’s just gotten back.”  
“Okay,” I say. I’m not really sure why he’s explaining this to me.  
“You thought I was on a date,” he says, “I just… didn’t want you to think that. Even though, I can see you and Agatha have patched things up.”  
“Yeah, well,” I say, looking over my shoulder at her patiently waiting in the driver’s seat; she gives me a thumbs-up, completely oblivious to our conversation, “we’re friends again.”  
“You’re not back together?” he asks. He looks almost sad at the news.  
“You don’t have to look so disappointed,” I snap.  
“I’m not disappointed, Simon. I just want you to be happy,” he says.  
“Happy? Getting back with Agatha wouldn’t make me happy anymore. I thought I made it clear,” I say, taking a step towards him, “I want to be with _you_.”  
“And I want you to be with someone who doesn’t think about drinking your blood every time they kiss you, or hell, anytime they can feel your pulse,” he explains. “I want you to be safe.”  
“You kept me safe,” I practically yell. “Then, you sat calmly with me until the police arrived when I literally had blood pouring out of my face. You don’t give yourself enough credit, and I’m the one paying for it.”  
“It’s just too dangerous,” Baz says sadly. “You don’t know what goes through my mind. If you did, you’d be running the other way right now, and I’m paying for this too, you know.”  
“You’re around your friends, yeah? And your aunt?” I ask. He nods, and swallows. “Why not me?”  
“It’s different with you, obviously,” he says. “I just want more and more, and I can’t think clearly.”  
“Then don’t kiss me,” I say, too loudly. People on the patio look up at me, but I don’t care. “You don’t have to kiss me, you don’t have to _touch_ me. Just don’t push me away. Please.”  
“What kind of relationship is that?” Baz asks. He looks worn down and resigned.  
“Look, Baz,” I say. How can I make him understand me? “When I kiss you, _I_ want more. I crave a closeness that I never-“ Oh, God, Agatha is right behind me. I turn around and tap on her window. She rolls it down and smiles at me sweetly.  
“Is everything okay?” she asks.  
“Not really,” I say, and I hear Baz scoff behind me, “but this is going to take a while. I’ll just walk home when I’m done here. I’ll call you later okay?”  
“Promise?” she asks.  
“I promise,” I say, “and I’ll make it up to you. We’ll have lunch soon.” Agatha agrees and reverses out of the spot. I turn to face Baz again.  
“You were saying?” he prompts.  
“Right,” I say, “when I kissed you, I also wanted more. I wanted to be closer and I wanted to… do things to you… Not anything bad or harmful per se, but things that definitely wouldn’t be appropriate for a first date or a movie theater.” Baz looks as embarrassed as I feel, but I continue. “My point is, everyone has impulses and thoughts that they can’t or won’t act on, yours are just… different because of your… condition.” God, I’m shit with words.  
“You’re comparing me wanting to puncture your throat with my fangs and drain you of blood to you wanting to have sex with me?” Baz says as if I’ve lost my mind.  
“Why not?” I ask with a shrug. “They’re both intimate acts, are they not?” Baz flushes that faint pink I love so much, and I resist the urge to reach over and rub my thumb across his cheek.  
“I suppose so,” he says.  
“The more we’re around each other… the less intense those impulses will be. Just like anything else, right?” Baz looks down, and I can practically see the gears turning in his mind. “I’m making sense, and you know it,” I say with a smirk.  
Baz gives me a little nod, “Either you’re making sense, or I just want you to be,” he says.  
“Either way,” I say, “will you give us another chance?”  
Baz looks at me with a mixture of pain and hope. I reach over and take his hand in mine, placing it over my heart. “I know this makes you uncomfortable, but there’s something I want you to think about whenever you feel my pulse or hear my heartbeat, okay?” Baz looks from our entwined hands to my eyes and nods. “It’s all for you,” I say. Baz’s face crumbles and a tear slips down his pale cheek. I reach up and swipe it away with my knuckle. “I can tell you’re conflicted, so here’s what we’ll do,” I say. “I have to work tomorrow. If you come to the beach, I’ll know that it means you want to give us a real shot. Deal?”  
“Deal,” Baz agrees. I lift his hand up to my mouth and press a kiss to his fingers.  
“Then, I hope I see you tomorrow,” I say.


	7. Chapter 7

I walk into work and head straight to the locker room. I’ve just changed into my red trunks and pulled my whistle over my head when I hear the door open.   
“Simon? Are you decent?” It’s my boss, Miss Possibelf.   
“Yeah,” I say, walking around the lockers so she can see me.   
“Oh, my word,” she gasps. “Agatha was right. Your poor face,” she cries, then levels me with a maternal no-nonsense look, “Simon, you’re taking a week off.”  
“What? Because of this?” I ask gesturing to my nose. “It’s not that bad, really.”  
“Still, I don’t want you rebreaking it at work. There are volley balls and frisbees flying all over the place. And I know I’ve seen you hit yourself in the face with an umbrella more than once.”  
“Miss Possibelf, I can’t really afford to take a week off,” I admit.   
“Ok then, three days,” she says. “You can pick up shifts from someone else once you’re back on the schedule if you need the money, and I want you to wear a face guard.” _Dammit._  
I nod reluctantly, and turn around to go change.   
“Oh, and Simon?” She calls. I look over my shoulder at her. “Your father called here looking for you yesterday. I didn’t know your last name was Salisbury. We’ll have to change that on your paperwork.”  
Fuck. How did he find me?  
{+}  
I burst into the break room, making Agatha and Trixie jump and yelp. I make a beeline for them.   
“Agatha, listen to me, okay? I can’t be here,” I tell her. “I told Baz to meet me at the beach today though, so can you do me a favor?”  
She nods.  
“I’m going to wait for him behind the boulders. Keep a lookout for him, and if you see him, tell him where I am okay?”  
She nods again.   
“And if anyone else, anyone at all says they’re looking for me, you don’t know me. You’ve never heard my name and never seen anyone matching my description, got it?”  
“Simon, what’s going on? Are you in trouble?” Agatha asks, standing up and putting a hand on my shoulder.   
“No… yes…. I just don’t want to see anyone, but Baz, alright?” I stammer. I’ve got to get out of this building. If my father knows that I work here, he could show up at any time. I run through the door then stick my head back in and lock eyes with Agatha. “No one else.” I say.   
“Alright, geez,” she says. “Go, you tosser.”  
{+}  
I feel like a caged animal caught between these giant boulders. This was probably the worst place to ask Baz to meet me. I’m sure this is the last place he wants to be, but it’s the only place I can hide from prying eyes.   
How did my father find me? I was so careful. I haven’t used my real name in almost five years. I’ll be nineteen soon; I’m legally an adult. It’s not as if he can make me do anything I don’t want to do. I just never want to see him again. He’s never done anything but cause me pain. Well, I’m older, stronger, bigger, and I know how to fight now… and it’s not like I’ll ever let him close enough to hurt me emotionally again. Really, all I would have to do is tell him to fuck off… I don’t have to go to the university in town, I could go anywhere. Somewhere far from here. I could just visit Ebb during holidays like Penny and Agatha plan to do.   
“Simon?” _Baz._ I sigh in relief and whirl around and see him standing there, one hand on the boulder, the other hand holding a bouquet of daisies. Tears are sliding down my cheeks before I can even stop them. Baz closes the distance quickly and I wrap my arms around him. He pulls me in close and sighs too. “You didn’t think I’d come?” he asks.   
“No, it’s… Well, I tried not to think about it. I hoped you would. I wasn’t sure though,” I admit. “I love you, Baz,” I say and he blinks at me, pulling away enough to look down at my face. “I know you probably think it’s way too soon for me to say that, and maybe it is, but I do. I love you, and I’ll do anything to make this work.”  
“So, will I,” he says huskily, he pulls me close again and I can feel the small tremors of his silent sobs. We hold each other like that for a long time. I pull back, remembering that I shouldn’t be here.   
“Let’s go somewhere,” I say, taking him by the hand.   
“Where do you want to go? Your place?” he asks.   
“No,” I practically shout. “Uh… let’s go to yours, yeah?”  
“Simon, are you alright?” he asks. “Agatha said you were a little…” he swirls his finger around by his head.  
“I’ll tell you everything when we get to your flat, okay?” I say. “I need you to know some things about me anyway… since you want to be with me and all… right?”  
“Right,” he agrees. “Ok, let’s go.”  
“Are those for me?” I ask, pointing to the flowers.   
Baz holds them up and presents them to me with a flourish.   
“There’s a card,” he says. I pluck the tiny card out and open it up.   
“ _You make me want to try. Love, Baz._ ” I read out loud. _Love?_ When I look up at him, he leans over and presses his mouth mine.   
“And fuck that no kissing nonsense,” he says.   
{+}  
As soon as Baz opens the door to his flat, Fiona and Dev rush into the sitting room. Dev skids to a stop when he sees me, and Fiona runs into him.   
She peeks around his shoulder and gives us both a grin. “I see things went well down at the beach.”  
“Yes. Yes, they did,” Baz answers, shutting the door behind us. “Can we have a little alone time now? Simon and I need to talk.”  
“Oh, sure,” Fiona says, in a knowing tone with a not so subtle wink. “I’m sure you have lots of _talking_ to do.”  
“Fiona and I were just on our way out,” Dev says. He grabs the sleeve of her jacket and pulls her towards the door. She argues the whole time, but in the end, Dev lures her out with the promise of drinks on him. He starts to close the door then stops himself. He holds a hand out to me, and I shake it. “Good to see you again, Simon,” he says.   
“You too,” I say, returning the smile. When I go to join Baz on the couch, he looks thoroughly confused.   
“Again?” he asks.   
“Oh, I uh, ran into him the day I came here, and you wouldn’t see me,” I explain. It’s so weird to say that in casual conversation. He arches an eyebrow at me. “Like, I literally ran into him. Coffee everywhere.”  
“Oh,” Baz says. Then his face lights up in understanding. “Oh,” he says again. He starts chuckling then holds a hand out signaling to give him a moment. “How unfortunate for him.”  
My face falls. “Why?” I ask, “Was he wearing something expensive? I ruined something expensive, didn’t I?”  
“I’m sure you did,” Baz says, “but that’s not what’s funny,” he clears his throat and gives me an amused look like I did something adorable. “He came in that day all smiles, talking about the meet cute he had with an overly polite fit guy in my building.” My jaw drops open as it clicks for me. “I had no idea _you_ were the clumsy coffee boy. I should have known,” he says shaking his head. “You made quite the impression on him.”  
“I see,” I say, scooting closer to Baz. “Well, that is unfortunate then, innit?”   
He puts and arm around me and tucks me into his nook as I wrap my arms around his middle and lean into him.   
“Quite,” he says, and I can feel the vibrations of his voice rattle through me, “Because you’re mine now.”  
“Yes, I am,” I tell him. I close my eyes and breathe him in, enjoying this moment of peace and rightness.   
“What did you want to talk to me about?” Baz asks. _Moment over._  
“Right,” I say, disentangling myself, and sitting up to look Baz in the eye. I keep and arm behind him, and I put my free hand in his. His stare is so somber; it’s making me nervous. I look up at the ceiling like maybe the words I need to say are written on it. “Okay,” I say finally, “Okay, I’m just going to say it.”  
“Out with it, Snow,” Baz demands. I look at him and wince.   
“That’s the thing,” I say. I pull my hand from his and rub the back of my neck. I can’t look at him while I say this. “My name isn’t really Simon Snow.” Baz sits up straighter and leans over until his face is in my line of vision.   
“Excuse me?” he says.   
“I told you I was living on the streets when I was younger, right?” he nods. “Well, it’s because I ran away from home. My father was always cruel and abusive. He always yelled at me, but when I turned eleven, he started hitting me. When I was thirteen, I found out how my mom really died, and I left. I changed my name because I didn’t want my father to find me. I didn’t really think before I did it… I was filling out employment forms for Ebb and I just sort of did it.”  
“Your mom died?” he whispers.   
I nod, “When I was a baby.”  
“Jesus, Simon,” Baz says, leaning back throwing his hands over his face. I reach up and clasp a hand around his wrist, carefully pulling his hand away.   
“Are you mad at me?” I ask. My heart is thundering in my chest. I’m sure he can hear it.   
“Mad at you?” Baz asks. “No, I’m not mad at you. I thought you were about to tell me that you’re married, or straight or something. I’m relieved, Simon, and also heartbroken for you. Why were you afraid to tell me?” I shrug. He leans over and puts a hand on my cheek. I swear, I’ll never tire of his cool touch on my skin. I close my eyes once more and melt into his caress. “So, what _is_ your name?” he asks. I open my eyes and find his. This is the hard part. It’s not like I could even hope he won’t recognize my name. Anyone who uses a computer would. Especially coming from his family. I bet his father has even done business with mine.   
“It’s still Simon,” I say. “It’s uh, Simon Salisbury-Mage.” Baz eyes widen, and he drops his hand. My cheek mourns the loss immensely. It immediately boils again and I’m sure I’m blushing furiously.   
“As in Salisbury-Mage Enterprises?” he asks.   
“Uh, yeah… my mom had a thing for computers,” I say as if it’s no big deal.   
“Simon, you’re rich,” he says. He looks at me from my dingy sneakers, to my faded t-shirt. “You’re richer than me. Christ, you may be richer than God himself.” He shakes his head in disbelief.   
“No, I’m not,” I correct him. “I’m broke as shit. My father is rich.”  
“You’re eighteen. Didn’t your mother leave you anything?” he asks.   
“Well… I don’t know. I didn’t exactly get my affairs order when I jumped out the window at thirteen,” I say.   
“Let’s find out then,” he says.   
“No,” I say, standing up. “I don’t want anything to do with my father.” The thought of sitting in his office, going over my inheritance is almost laughable. “It wouldn’t go well,” I say.  
“My family has lawyers,” Baz offers, “I could have our legal team contact his legal team. You’d never have to see him.”  
“But he would know,” I say, I pause mid step. When did I start pacing? “Why are you pushing for this?” I ask.   
Baz stands up and walks over to me. He takes both of my hands and pulls me close. “Don’t get the wrong idea here,” he says. “I have more than enough money to ensure a comfortable life for the both of us for the rest of our lives, and I haven’t even started earning my own yet,” he says. I blush and don’t even bother trying to hide my smile. He wants a future with me? “I just don’t like the idea of you not having what’s rightfully yours. I hardly think your mother would want you to be struggling.”  
“Well, I hardly think I’ll be struggling now that I’ve got my very own Sugar Daddy,” I say with a smirk. I tug on his hand and wiggle my eyebrows.   
Baz just laughs at my cheekiness. “That works too,” he says.   
I lean up and catch his mouth with mine.   
{+}  
We decide that I should spend the night on Baz’s couch again since my father seems to know of my whereabouts and I’m not ready to deal with it tonight. We’re going to make a real plan and contact him on our terms. It feels really good to have someone to help me with this. I text Penny to let her know where I’ll be tonight and tell her that if anyone shows up to deny knowing me. She has about a million questions, so I spend the better part of an hour answering them and playing with Baz’s hair as he lays his head in my lap, pretending to read a book.   
“Not even your best friend knew your real name?” Baz asks. I shake my head, and he looks really sad.   
“I met her after I moved in with Ebb. Ebb is friends with Penny’s mother, and when I was struggling in Literature class, they got us together so that Pen could tutor me,” I explain. “I didn’t know her well enough to trust her with a secret at the time, and it just never really came up.”  
“For five years?” he asks. I shrug. I don’t tell him that it didn’t come up because I didn’t want it to; he already knows. “Well, what about Agatha? Does she know?”  
“No,” I say, “though I guess now that you and Penny know, I should fill her in to.” I sigh and close my eyes. “And Ebb as well.”  
“Hey,” Baz says, reaching up to touch my face. I open my eyes and look down at him. “No one is going to be mad at you.” I nod.  
“I know. It’s just going to be weird to tell them that I’ve been lying for five years,” I say.  
“It’s just your name,” Baz says, “It’s not who you are.”  
God, I love him.  
We say goodnight soon after and decide that it would be best for me to sleep on the couch again. I know I can keep my hands to myself (well, I like to think I can, anyway) but I don’t think Baz is ready to lay next to me in the dark and quiet, listening to my pulse and feeling the heat that’s continually radiating off my body. I don’t push it. We’ll get there.   
I don’t go knock on Baz’s bedroom door, but I want to. I lay awake thinking about it, (and what could happen) until Fiona stumbles in at around 1 AM and slams the door. I prop myself up on my elbows to look at her.  
“And just what sort of time do you call this, young lady?” I ask. Fiona jumps about a foot in the air and I laugh, “Are you alright?”   
“I was fine until you scared the shit out of me,” she yells. I laugh again and put my hands up in surrender.   
“I’m sorry, I thought you saw me,” I say.   
“No, I didn’t see you, you little twit,” she snaps, “We don’t all have freaky night vision like your boyfriend.” She flicks on the lamp on the table next to the couch and takes in the sight of me absolutely preening at the word ‘boyfriend’. She makes a little disgusted noise and rolls her eyes. “Tea?” she asks.  
“Yes, please,” I reply. I get to my feet and follow her into the kitchen. She starts filling the kettle with water and looks over at me.   
“Nice pants,” she says. I’m sure she’s expecting me to blush or something, but I basically live in swim trunks and I don’t see much of a difference.   
“Why thank you,” I say. She rolls her eyes again then places the kettle on the stovetop.   
“There should be some biscuits in the cabinet,” she tells me. I find them on the very top shelf. “I knew it,” she says smugly. “Baz tries to hide them from me.”  
Speaking of Baz, I hear his shuffling feet behind me, so I turn around. His hair is sticking up all over and he’s rubbing his left eye. He’s also only wearing a t-shirt and pants. I feel a lump forming in my throat and a warmth starts pooling at the bottom of my stomach. Ok, so there is most definitely a difference between this and trunks. I swallow, and Baz looks at me with an expression I can only describe as wanting.   
Fiona clanks dishes loudly behind me, and Baz gives her a dirty look.   
“Some people are trying to sleep,” he snaps. “What the hell are you guys doing? It’s almost 1:30.”  
“We’re having tea,” Fiona says as if it should be obvious.   
“Right,” he says, looking from the kettle, to Fiona, then finally to me. “Make me a cup too.” He strides over to the little dining table and sits down heavily, placing his elbows on the table and propping his face up with his fists.   
I walk up behind him and start rubbing small circles into his back. He relaxes into my touch and gives me an appreciative hum.   
“I’m sorry we woke you,” I tell him quietly. He reaches up and puts a hand over mine on his shoulder.   
“You didn’t wake me, love,” he says, making my chest swell, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.” I bend over and kiss the top of his head then sit down beside him at the table.   
“Why couldn’t you sleep?” I ask. I hate thinking of him lying in bed, depressed or anxious.   
“I couldn’t stop thinking about coming to wake you, to be honest,” he says shyly. Ah, so not what I expected. Much, much better than I expected.   
“Same,” I say, giving him a coy grin. He was thinking about me too. He raises his eyebrows at me, and starts to say something, but Fiona cuts him off, practically slamming the tea service down in front of it.   
“Oh, don’t worry, boys. I’ve got it,” she grumbles sarcastically.   
Baz and I both apologize to her, and she just waves us off mumbling something about “little shits” into her teacup. I take a few biscuits and tuck into them while Baz and Fiona make plans to go to a new record shop tomorrow.   
“What about you, boyo? Do you want to join us?” Fiona asks.   
“Yeah,” I say, then I remember Agatha. “Well, it depends on what time. I made plans to have lunch with a friend.”  
“We can go after,” Fiona says with a little shrug. I have a suspicion that she’ll most likely be crawling out of bed at around lunchtime anyway. She gets up from the table and heads to the balcony for a smoke.   
“Will you come to lunch?” I ask Baz. He swallows his tea and sets his cup down slowly, giving me an odd expression the whole time.   
“Do you… want me to?” he asks. I look at him like he’s being silly.   
“Of course, I do. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want you to,” I say. He tilts his head a bit and clears his throat.  
“Well, aren’t you going to be talking about some heavy stuff?”   
I shrug, “Yeah, that’s why I need you with me.” Baz’s face lights up slightly, and he tries to hide his smile by taking another sip of tea. I reach over and take his hand. “You don’t have to come,” I tell him.   
Baz squeezes my hand and says, “No, I’d like that. It might be a little awkward. Considering,” he raises his eyebrows, “but I want us to be able to be around each other’s friends.”  
He’s so sweet to put himself in an uncomfortable situation, so that he can support me. I lean over the table and place a hand on his cheek. I make all my movements slow and deliberate so that he has time to get used to it or push me away. Thank God, he doesn’t push me away. He leans in and kisses me, and I can feel his smile against my mouth. I make to pull away, but he slides a hand behind my neck and holds me against him, slowly sliding his tongue into my mouth. It’s surprising, but not unwelcome. He finds my tongue with his own and deepens our kiss. He’s leaning over the table so far that his elbow hits my teacup and spills it. We both look at it and laugh.   
“Maybe we should take this elsewhere,” he whispers. My jaw drops open and I quickly snap it shut.   
“Are you sure? I thought-“I begin, but Baz waves at me dismissively.   
“Don’t worry, love,” he says, getting to his feet and pulling me up with him, “I haven’t thought about eating you for hours.”  
I can’t say the same.


	8. Chapter 8

Waking up in Baz’s arms is better than I imagined. I’m laying with my back against his chest and he has his chin on my shoulder. I really, really don’t want to move, but I need to take a piss like now. I go to peel one of Baz’s arms from around my chest and he starts then tightens his grip on me. I smile, and twist around to face him.   
“I’ll be right back; don’t worry,” I whisper. Baz doesn’t open his eyes or respond but his arms loosen, and I’m able to crawl out of bed.   
I do my business and take a quick shower. Baz’s soap and shampoo smell so delicious I briefly wonder if it would kill me to drink it. When I step out of the shower, I dry off and wrap a towel around my waist. I use Baz’s mouthwash again and tread back to his room.   
Before I dress, I lay down on his bed, and snuggle up close to him.   
“You’re wet,” Baz says without opening his eyes. He wraps and arm around me, pulling me tight against his chest, and rubs his hand up and down my back. “And naked,” he adds. Now, he opens an eye. I smile at him and shrug.   
“I’m wearing a towel,” I say. He closes his eye again and groans.   
“What are you _doing_ to me?” he asks.   
“What ever do you mean?” I ask, snaking both hands up the front of his t-shirt then around to his back. I lean up and kiss him. I’ve learned to let Baz do everything at his own pace, so we hold our lips together for a few moments before he rakes a hand through my hair and pulls on my hip bone with the other. He digs his nails in a little, making me gasp, and takes the opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth. I moan at the contact and just as he starts pulling at my towel, the alarm on my phone starts going off.   
“We have to meet Agatha in an hour,” I tell him.  
“To be continued,” Baz says kissing me again and biting my lip softly. That tiny bit sends a shock directly from my mouth to my prick and I briefly consider rescheduling lunch with Agatha once again. I can’t do that to her again, so I just groan and throw myself back onto Baz’s pillow.   
Baz chuckles and pats my leg. “You’ll be okay,” he says, then leans over and kisses my cheek, “I’m going to shower.”  
I groan again and throw a pillow over my face, but then think better of it, and watch him leave the room. He’s so beautiful.  
{+}  
Once I’m dressed in yesterday’s clothes, (sans the underwear which I drop into Baz’s laundry basket) I piddle around the kitchen for a bit while he showers. I make some tea for the both of us and help myself to some more of the biscuits that we left out last night. I sit at the table and play with my phone until I realize that Baz has been taking a shower for almost half an hour.  
As I approach the bathroom, I can hear that the shower is still running. I knock on the door and call to Baz, “Hey, babe? Hurry it up, yeah? We have to leave soon.”  
“I’m aware of that,” he drawls. I retreat to the living room and sit on the couch. Ten minutes later, I knock again. This time, the water is off at least.   
“Baz, we really need to get going,” I say through the door.   
“Two minutes,” he assures me.   
Five minutes later, I knock again, “I’m leaving without you in 5….4…..3…..2….”  
Baz, opens the door and raises an eyebrow at me, “Okay, I’m done now.”  
 _Finally_ , I think. My, God. He takes longer than Penny and Agatha put together to get ready.   
“Aww, you made me tea,” he says, making to sit down at the table. I rush over and grab him by the arm.   
“Uh uh,” I say, “You missed tea time. Tea time is over. Now it’s go time.”  
Baz smirks at me suggestively and tilts his head towards the bedroom.   
“Yeah, time for that has passed too,” I tell him. “It’s almost time to meet Agatha. We have to leave.” I tighten my grip on his arm and tow him to the front door.  
{+}  
We’re only about five minutes late to The Randy Goat for our lunch date with Agatha, and when we sit down, she tells us that she just sat down anyway. Ebb comes over to say hello and take all of our drink orders and I tell her that I’d like for her to join us. She has one of the servers cover the bar and sits down with us with a concerned look on her face.   
I’m not quite sure how to proceed now that I have everyone’s attention. Baz reaches over and squeezes my hand. When I look over at him he gives me a small smile and it brings to mind all of the sweet and encouraging things that he said to me in the car on the way over here.  
“Don’t be so nervous, Simon,” he said. “No matter what happens, I’m here for you. Besides, no one is going to be mad.”  
I squeeze his hand back and give him a weak smile.   
“Ok, ladies,” I say, “I wanted to talk to you about… well, about myself. Um, my last name isn’t really Snow.” I pause to gage their reactions. Ebb just looks confused; Agatha looks a bit flustered and lost. “My name is Simon Salisbury-Mage.” I continue, and different degrees of bewilderment bloom on each of their faces. “I didn’t tell you because, I was hiding from my father, but… he’s found me now, so… now seemed like the time.”  
“So you’re like heir to the largest software company in the country?” Agatha asks.   
“Bet you wish you hadn’t dumped him, now, huh?” Ebb says, bumping Agatha with her elbow and giggling.   
Agatha opens and closes her mouth like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it.   
“Ebb, that’s not-“ I say, but she gives me a look.   
“I’m only joking,” she says. “Agatha knows that. Don’t you, dear?” She looks over at Agatha and she nods. “See?”  
“Anyway, do you guys have any questions?” I ask. They do.   
Each of them has about fifty questions and it feels like I have to give them each my whole life story before they’re satisfied. At the end of the conversation, Agatha keeps looking at me like I’m an abandoned puppy on the side of the road, and Ebb is a sniffling, blubbering mess. _Women._  
After many kisses and hugs and kind words from both women, Baz and I are finally free to go.   
“That wasn’t so bad,” Baz says, and I look over at him like he’s lost his mind.   
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I take it out. It’s Pen.  
“Hullo?” I answer.  
“Simon, your father is at our flat,” she says.   
“Why? I told you to tell anyone looking for me that you don’t know me,” I hiss.  
“Well, I didn’t think that extended to parents,” she says.   
“Yes, it extends to parents. He’s who I’ve been avoiding, Pen,” I say. Baz stops walking and looks at me intently. “Look, I don’t want him at the flat with you,” I tell her, “I’m at Ebb’s right now. Tell him to meet me here. It’ll be better to do this in a public place.”  
“Okay, I’ll tell him. I love you,” she says.   
“I love you too,” I say, then I hang up. I look up into Baz’s face, and before I can say anything, he puts an arm around me and pulls me in close.   
“I’m staying with you,” he says. I nod into his chest and we turn around and head back into the pub.   
I fill Ebb in on what’s happening, and she tells me that she’s going to have someone cover for her, so that she can be ‘available to me’. I don’t ask her to elaborate on that because by the look in her eye, I’m thinking that means she’s going to be watching my father very closely and kicking his arse if need be. I love this woman.   
I sit at the bar with Baz and we both jolt every time the door opens. He reaches over and rubs my back to soothe me and I lean my head on his shoulder. I’m so thankful to have him here with me. I’d probably be pacing the floor or pissing myself right now if he weren’t here.   
“Simon?” a man’s voice asks from behind me. I sit up straight and turn around slowly. My father looks almost exactly the same as I remember. He doesn’t even have any gray in his hair like I had expected. There are a few more lines around his eyes, but that’s it.   
“Father,” I say curtly. I’m not the one who wanted this meeting, so I’m not going to try to carry on a conversation with him. Ebb stands up from the end of the bar, and my father looks at her. She gives him a small nod, I suppose just making him aware of her presence.   
“Can we talk outside?” my father asks. I look at Baz and he gives me wide, puppy dog eyes. I know he doesn’t want me to go outside without him, but I want this to be over. I nod at my father and get up from my stool.   
“You have five minutes,” Baz says from behind me, I look at him over my shoulder, but he isn’t looking at me, he’s looking at my father who nods at him. 

“You didn’t want to introduce me to your friend?” my father asks as we walk out to the dock.   
“No,” I say. “What do you want?”  
“What do I want?” he asks. “I want to see my son.”  
“Well, here I am,” I tell him. “Are you done now?”  
He cuts his eyes at me, and sighs. “I see that some things don’t change,” he says.   
“’Fraid not,” I reply.   
“I need to talk to you about some business,” he says.   
“Ah, here we go,” I say, “I knew there was probably money involved if you were so desperate to find me all of a sudden.”  
“It seems your mother left you her half of the companies shares,” he says. My eyes go wide. Her half? Holy shit. I am rich. “I’ve been looking for you since your eighteenth birthday to tell you as much, but you’ve been hard to find.”  
“Ok, so what do you want from me?” I ask. “A signature?”  
“More or less. I want you to relinquish your shares to me,” he says.   
I scoff. He can’t be serious. I tell him as much.   
“I’m very serious,” he says. “You made your choice to be out of the family when you decided to run away from home. Your shares in the company are meant for members of the family, Salisburys and Mages, not Snows.”  
“My mother left that to me,” I say.   
“Before she killed herself because she couldn’t deal with you,” he spits at me. I flinch, then set my jaw. I said I wouldn’t let him hurt me, and I won’t.   
“I’m not listening to this shit,” I tell him, “You aren’t getting anything from me. I’ll have my lawyer contact your legal team.” I move to walk past him, but he grabs me by the collar of my shirt, halting me.   
“Oh, I think you’ll do as I say, son,” he says.   
“And why is that?” I ask.   
“I know where you work, I know where you live, I know who your friends are,” he explains, “It would be a shame if anything happened to any of them.”  
“Stay the fuck away from them,” I say.   
My father tightens his grip on my shirt and pulls me closer. “I’ll stay away from them if you do exactly as I say.”  
I don’t hear Baz approach, but suddenly, he’s standing very close to the both of us. His face is positively murderous.   
“Get your hand off of him,” he says. His voice sounds strange and I can’t figure out why until he speaks again. “I won’t warn you again.” His fangs are out.   
My father lets go of my shirt and pushes me away from him.   
“Isn’t this lovely?” he sneers. “Not only is my son a fruit, but he’s a fang fucker as well.”  
I don’t think. I just rear back and punch him as hard as I can. He falls sideways, but gets to his feet quickly, rubbing his jaw. He’s looking at me like he’s almost amused, and I know I’ve fucked up. He starts storming towards me and the whole scene is so familiar that it makes me feel like I’m thirteen years old and scared out of my mind again.   
“Don’t you touch him,” Baz growls, pushing my father with both hands. My father falters but doesn’t fall this time. He looks at Baz like he’d like to hit him, but he knows he’s outmatched by a vampire. “We’re done here,” Baz says. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and starts guiding me back to the pub. I can see Ebb standing by the door, waiting for us. Her eyes go wide, and I quickly spin around.   
My father has a piece of wood that he must have found near the railing, and he looks intent on hitting one of us with it. I push Baz away from me and I grab the piece of wood before my father can use it. We’re stuck in a sort of physical power struggle until my father trips on a loose plank and falls down. He smacks his head on the dock and rolls into the water.   
I quickly take off my shoes and jump in after him. It doesn’t take me long to find him in the dark water. It isn’t very deep here by the dock and I can easily follow his trail of bubbles with the lack of current at the moment. I pull him out of the water and swim over to the rocks where Baz is waiting to help me haul him onto the shore.  
We lay him out onto the sand, and I press my ear to his chest.   
“Simon, I don’t hear anything,” Baz says from beside me.   
I ignore him, and lift my father’s wrist, feeling for his pulse. Nothing.   
“Simon,” Baz says.   
I press my fingers to my father’s neck, but I’m still not getting anything.   
“Simon, stop,” Baz says.   
I start pushing on my father’s chest, and out of nowhere, “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees pops into my head. I remember a time when Reith and I talked about how we had both seen that on the American version of The Office and that it actually worked. Reith said he even read about a man saving someone by using that technique. It isn’t working for me though.   
“Simon, stop, now,” Baz says. He puts a hand on my shoulder, but I don’t pay him any mind.   
I feel like I’m going crazy. Maybe I am going crazy. I’ve just killed my own father and I’m banging on his chest with the goddamned Bee Gees in my head. I’m dimly aware of the sound of an ambulance in the parking lot above us. I killed him. I fucking killed him.  
“It was me,” I say, out loud.   
“Simon, shut up,” Baz says, “People are coming.”  
“But I,” I start, but he shushes me and places both hands on my shoulders.   
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he tells me, “he fell. There was nothing we could do.” I nod and he hugs me. “Now shh. Here come the paramedics. I’ll do the talking.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is short, but there will be an epilogue next...

I don’t say anything to anyone all day. I don’t pay attention as a crowd gathers around us and the paramedics start fussing over my father. Different people keep asking me questions, but Baz answers all of them for me while I cling to him.  
Ebb called the police when she first saw that my father was getting physical with me, so even though my father’s body is long gone to the morgue by now, Baz and I are still standing on this beach, while the police question Baz and he gives vague yet pacifying answers. He should go into politics if he decides he doesn’t want to work for his father.   
After speaking with Ebb, Baz, and a few other eyewitnesses, the police finally conclude that my father’s death was completely accidental and tells us that we’re free to go. Baz opens the car door open for me and I reluctantly let go of his hand to climb in.   
Baz drives for a few minutes in silence until I realize that we aren’t going towards his building, but mine. I look up at him, worried that he’s wanting to drop me off. What can I say? I don’t want to be alone. Is this too much for him? I’m about to tell him that I’ll understand if he wants to call things off, but he speaks before I get the chance.   
“Don’t stress, love,” Baz says, in a soothing tone, but I can’t help it. I don’t want him to take me home. “I just want to pick up some of your things, and then we’ll go back to my place. You’re staying with me and Fiona for a while.” I sit back in my seat and let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.   
Baz and I walk into my flat hand in hand, and Penny flings herself off the chair in the sitting room. She rushes over and hugs me fiercely. I walk over to the couch with her so that we can sit together and she just holds onto me. It’s unlike Penny not to bombard me with questions, but she doesn’t ask me anything, she just rubs my back and tells me that everything is going to be alright.   
A few minutes later, Baz emerges from my bedroom holding my duffle bag and a toiletry kit I forgot I even had. I don’t bother asking what he’s packed. I don’t really care, and I’m sure he got all of the essentials for a lengthy stay.   
“Are you ready to go, Simon?” he asks. I nod and stand up, then make to grab the larger bag out of his hand, but he moves it out of my reach. “Let’s go then,” he says.   
Penny stands up and gives me another hug and a kiss on the cheek, then she turns to Baz and gives him a small hug as well. She tells us to expect a visit from her soon, and Baz tells her that would be lovely.   
{+}  
I don’t say much for the next few days. Sometimes I’ll say a few words to Baz, but I don’t think I can talk to anyone without breaking down, so I mostly just keep my mouth shut. Baz has started answering my phone for me and letting people know that I’m alright. He’s called Miss Possibelf and quit for me and apologized for the short notice. I didn’t ask him to do that, but he was right to do it. I don’t know if I ever want to go to that beach again. I certainly don’t want to be in the position to save anyone’s life. Baz has also contacted his father who graciously said that he would take care of all of the legalities concerning my inheritance and also said that he would make sure that everything is taken care of with my company until I want to deal with it myself. (That will never happen.) I didn’t expect Baz’s dad to be so nice, but he really is a great guy. Maybe he’s just excited that Baz’s new boyfriend is loaded now, I don’t know. Either way, he’s been surprisingly helpful, or so Baz says. Baz speaks to Ebb, Agatha, and Reith. Penny doesn’t bother calling anymore, she just drops by and sits with me for a while before heading to work or class.   
Right now, I’m sitting at the dining table, looking out the window and ignoring my tea. Baz sits across from me, reading something on his tablet and jotting things down once in a while. I don’t know what he’s reading, and I don’t ask. Probably, it’s an article on how to deal with catatonic boyfriends. It’s been five days since the incident.  
I look over and watch him for a moment. He’s so beautiful. He hasn’t been taking his usual hour in the bathroom ever since I moved in, so his hair is a bit ruffled and he’s got a five o’clock shadow. I quite like it. I don’t think he wants to leave me alone for that long. Usually, Fiona will sit in whichever room I’m in if Baz has to go anywhere or even walk out into the hall to speak on the phone. I don’t know why they’re afraid to leave me alone, but it’s nice. He’s nice. He’s taken such good care of me, and I truly have no idea why, but I don’t ask. I don’t need to know why as long as he’s with me, I’m content. I’ll probably never understand how he could want to be with someone like me… I caused my own father’s death. No matter what anyone says, it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me. But Baz is still here. He hasn’t judged me, or asked me to talk more, or even asked me not to lay in bed if that’s what I see fit to do… I reach over and place my hand over his. He looks up at me a little startled, then gives me a weak smile.   
I don’t know why, but my heart hurts at the sight and my chin starts wobbling. “I love you,” I tell him, and he opens his mouth to reply, but I continue, “I love you so much, Baz… and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” I’m crying now, but I don’t wipe my tears away, I just hold onto Baz’s hand. He stands up and squats down directly in front of my chair.   
“What are you sorry for, love?” he asks.   
I shrug and look out the window again. _I don’t know. Everything? Where should I begin?_ “I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m sorry for what happened. I’m sorry that you were involved. I’m sorry that I’m me,” I say.   
Baz takes hold of my chin and turns my head to face him. “Listen to me, Simon. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong, understand?” I shrug again. “You didn’t. It was all him. You need to know that. You were not at fault in any way,” he pauses to switch from squatting to kneeling then looks back up at me, “You’re safe now. I’m going to keep you safe. I’m going to take care of everything, okay?”  
I want to say okay, but instead, a sob comes out and I can’t look at him anymore. “I don’t want to be a burden to you,” I tell him.  
“A burden?” he asks like he can’t believe it. “Simon, look at me,” he says, then he takes my hand and places it over his heart, its pace is slower than mine, “this is for you. Just like your heart beats for me, mine beats for you. It’s all for you, right? I will never think of you as a burden, and I will never stop taking care of you. You’re mine, and I’m yours.”   
I lean over and throw my arms around his neck, then let myself slide off of the chair so that I’m kneeling too. We hold each other like that for a long while, and when I go to pull away, Baz squeezes me tighter and whispers into my hair.   
“I love you, Simon.”


	10. Epilogue

It’s been nearly five years since the horrible day that my father died, which means it’s been almost five years since Baz and I have been to the beach. At the end of that first summer, Baz was supposed to move back to Hampshire and start school, but instead he decided to take the year off so that he and I could focus on my company. We both ended up moving into his parent’s guest house (for a change of scenery) and started taking online business classes from a local university. Baz’s father showed me the ins and outs of running a large company and he even hired me an extremely overqualified assistant to basically do my job for me, so that I could learn on the job because he said that it was important for me to be present or something I don’t know…   
Today, I am proud to say that I haven’t mucked anything up with the company and I’m actually pretty damn good at my job. Baz is always by my side, helping me at every turn, and I help him out too. (You might even call us a power couple.) We live in London now, in a two story townhouse, that is both modern and comfy. Everything is perfect, and hopefully tonight, it will be even more so.  
It’s nearly the fifth anniversary of the first time we met, so we decided to take a little vacation to the place where it all started. We want to put the painful memories behind us, and make some new, better ones. Agatha and Penny (and Micah) are all going to come into town from America for a visit as well. I haven’t seen the girls in so long, it hardly seems real. We see Ebb for most holidays. She would come to Hampshire at first and now she comes to see us in London, but this will be the first time we’re visiting her since we lived here.   
Baz pulls into the parking lot of The Randy Goat and I can barely contain the huge grin that spreads across my face. I jump out of the car, and trot over to Baz’s side to open his door. He climbs out and takes my hand, giving it a little squeeze.   
As soon as we walk in, Ebb is throwing her arms around us. “My boys! It’s been too long,” she says. “I haven’t seen you since Christmas. Simon, your hair is so long,” she tells me, tugging on one of my curls. “Baz, you’re just as handsome as always,” she says, pinching his cheek. _You don’t mess with perfection,_ I think.   
Baz walks over to the bar to have a seat, but as he pulls out a stool for me, Ebb stops him. “No, no,” she says, “I’ve set something else up for you two on the patio.”   
Baz looks at me and quirks up an eyebrow, but I just shrug, and follow her outside. The whole back patio is roped off so that we can have some privacy, (so Baz will eat) and there’s a table with two place settings and three candles between them. She remembered the flowers too. Perfect.   
“Did you do this?” Baz asks me as we make our way over to the table.   
“Maybe,” I say with a satisfied smirk, he looks so touched and surprised. My heart is hammering in my chest.  
“And the daisies…” he says.   
“Are for you,” I nod. “I had them delivered here earlier today, and Ebb set them out.”   
Baz turns to me, and starts reaching out to me, but I back away. “Well, read the card,” I say.  
He makes a little face at me then turns around to fish the card out of the bouquet. He finds it and opens it up. I hurriedly (and quietly) fall to one knee and pull the ring box out of my jacket pocket before he turns around.   
“You make me want to try,” he reads out loud, then he turns to face me. His eyes go wide when he finds me down on one knee presenting him with a platinum ring.   
“Simon,” he gasps, throwing a hand up over his mouth.   
“Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch” _that’s a mouthful_ , “you’ve already made me the happiest man on earth. The unfailing love and support that you’ve given me every single day from _almost_ the very beginning is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Please, let me try to make you as happy as you make me for the rest of yours. Will you be my husband?”   
Baz presses both of his hands to his stomach for a moment and just kind of stares at me. Tears start streaming down his face and he hastily wipes at them then starts nodding rapidly. I raise my eyebrows and tilt my head.   
“Yeah?” I ask.   
“Yeah,” he says. “Yes, yes, of course.” I stand up and he throws his arms around me. I kiss him fiercely and passionately, trying to relay all of my happiness and relief to him. I pull back and take the ring out of the box then toss it aside. He holds his hand out and watches me slide the ring on his finger. The feeling of rightness and warmth that floods through me is more amazing than I imagined… and I’ve imagined this a lot.  
“I love you so much,” he tells me, and kisses me again.   
“I love you too,” I say. I hold him close until Ebb comes out with our dinner and champagne about half an hour later. We barely eat any of it because we can’t stop smiling like idiots and I can’t keep my hands off of him.   
Agatha, Trixie, Reith, Fiona, Penny and Micah show up shortly after we finish our dessert and Agatha tells us they have one more surprise for us. We all walk down the beach together, past the volley ball nets but not quite to the boulders where I first told Baz I loved him.   
Dev and Baz’s best friend, Niall, are waiting for us by a huge bonfire. We spend the night with our friends, playing games, sharing stories, drinking and laughing. It’s a perfect night with my perfect man, and all is right with the world in this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me til the end! I hope you enjoyed this. It was my obsession for quite some time. Please leave me comments & let me know what you think. Also, I love hearing about prompts or ideas for future fics. <3


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